Oh hey, hi

What is it with me and September bringing me back to blogging?  Do I rehash the time I've been gone?  We moved out of the national forest and we all miss it.  But there are nice things about living in a town.  One weekend night G and I both mentioned that we were hungry (i.e. midnight-ish) and I had a lightbulb moment.  "Hey let's go hit Taco Bell!"  G was skeptical, not believing that was even legal.  

Four years later

Well it's about time I got this done. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2FNCVETtro&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR0U0N8p2-ossl8UgbT8EvKxLI7EcNiv8XQlmABfElK-jHp2d2ewANU7kZQ

I loved you enough to...

I Loved You Enough....
to ask where you were going,
with whom, and what time you would be home.

I Loved You Enough....
to insist that you save
your money and buy a bike for yourself
even though we could afford to buy one for you.


I Loved You Enough....
to be silent and let
you discover that your
new best friend was a creep.

I Loved You Enough....
to make you take a Milky Way
back to the drugstore (with a bite out of it)
and tell the clerk,
"I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

I Loved You Enough....
to stand over you for two hours
while you cleaned your room,
a job that would have taken 15 minutes.

I Loved You Enough....
to let you see anger, disappointment
and tears in my eyes.
Children must learn that their
parents aren't perfect.

I Loved You Enough....
to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions
even when the penalties
were so harsh they almost
broke my heart.

But most of all,
I Loved You Enough....
to say NO
when I knew you
would hate me for it.
Those were the most
difficult battles of all.
I'm glad I won them,
because in the end,
you won, too.

...Author Unknown (obviously somebodys' Mom)

A very G slideshow

Last week was G's share week at school. He mostly just took some of his dinosaurs which are his prized possessions. He wanted me to make him a slideshow of pictures of his life up until now. It made me miss that life. Not Powell necessarily but the freedom that living there afforded me.

The life of a momma of a little boy who always wanted to be outside. The life of a momma who was teaching that boy how to read, how to navigate the world. I miss being with him all the time and capturing the world through his eyes.

I miss my boy, even if he doesn't want much to do with me on my days off, I miss just being there.

https://youtu.be/npmnksN0cf0

The slideshow was a big hit among his classmates. They wanted to watch it a second time but the teacher had only allocated ten minutes for it. She said she's never had a student do a picture slideshow for a share day. She loved it. G loved it too, he previewed it and approved it the night before and choked up a few times.

I hope you enjoy a "quick" 9.5 minute glance back at G's life!

I never thought of it that way

How did I never think of this?  Is that why I miss them all so much?  Because no one in my whole life will ever again love me like they did?  Dad, Granny B, my sister?  Will I never be loved like a daughter again?  A sister?  A favorite grandchild (not that she favored me but she kind of did)?  At first I felt sad at the idea but I also realized that if I'm not being loved as that person maybe I'm left open to being loved in another role.  Like mom, wife, best friend?  Love multiplies, right?  It doesn't divide? 

I sure do miss being loved by my dad.  I never ever questioned it.  Never.  I miss that.