He's 9 months old now! He has 3 bottom teeth, two of his top teeth (though a 3rd one up there is coming in) and his molars are showing up!!! Eeek! The poor little bugga has been sleeping terribly, but you can understand why! At 9 months he weighed in at 20 pounds 12 ounces and is 30.5 inches tall. Still nice and high on the growth charts!!!
He is a crawling MANIAC! I can't hardly believe how fast he's moving now. We put him down in one spot and we have to run to get to where he is headed before he gets to it. He is now the master of making a HUGE mess with the dog's water bowl and the dog food dish. Mainly because he seems to really love the taste of Beneful! We are forever digging kibble out of that boys mouth!!! He thinks it is hysterical when we tell him no, complete with shaking his head no at us.
He loves loves loves his bathtime still, as you can see from pictures. Now not only does he like to stand but he likes to stand unassisted. It's only for a few seconds at a time but it's awesome when he realizes that he's holding onto a bottle of shampoo and not a wall or the side of the tub, and down he splashes!!! It makes a pretty good slippery mess too I might add!!!
The week after my Dad died, G popped off with the "dadadadada." Ed was tickled and I was a smidge heartbroken, since I'm the one he should love the most - right? I'm still pining for the day I hear the "mama," and I think he's pretty close. He's making a lot of new syllable sounds and I think his language will one day soon just explode!
Last week we went through a pretty bad scare when G's little cough turned into a bark. If you've never experienced the croup you surely must have fewer gray hairs than I do. It is a horrible sound - for momma and for baby. He'd only sleep for about 20-30 minutes at a time and then wake himself up because he was having a hard time breathing or from coughing. Him and I got very little sleep that night. I would wrap him up tight in a blanket and sit outside so he could breathe in the cold air to relax his airways, and then we'd go in and sleep another 20-30 minutes. He was so tired that he'd cry, but that would make it all so much worse because he'd start choking and that would scare him. The next day we took him into the doctor and as we were in the waiting room he was coughing and people walking by us would say, "There's no doubting why you are here huh?" G got a shot of steroids, and although the shot pissed him off, what a godsend it was. G slept so much better that night, though not great. Even though I knew it was "no big deal" it still scared the heck out of me.
Tomorrow G goes in for his InfantSee appointment. It's a federally funded program to catch early problems with vision. It's basically just a free eye exam that you have to do before one year old (to get it for free that is). It should be interesting to see how they do an eye exam on a 9 month old....
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
letter to the editor, and what became of it...
I was advised that it would be wise for someone to write a public thank you for the men who built the wheelchair ramp at Mom's house so that Sarah could come home. I wrote this and sent it into the Spokesman and the CDA Press:
When my Dad, Alan Broden, died suddenly on Feburary 28, 2009 I lost my best friend, my hero, and the biggest influence in my life. When hundreds of men and women came to his funeral six days later I realized that my family and I were not the only ones who felt the loss of an amazing man. My Dad was a 911 dispatcher in Kootenai County for over 30 years and he had just retired on December 1, 2008. He was a voice that many of the citizens of Kootenai County would recognize as being the calm force in their time of chaos. I would like to thank the Coeur d'Alene Police Department, specifically Wayne Longo and Erik Turrell, and the members of the Coeur d'Alene Fire Department Honor Guard for participating in my Dad's funeral. I would like to thank the Kootenai County Sheriff's Department, specifically Dan Soumas and Ben Wolfinger, for the compassion and assistance they provided in putting together a safe and fitting funeral. I would also like to thank Pastor Rodney Wright and Lake City Community Church for the use of their beautiful facility and services.
The day after we buried my Dad's remains my sister fell and fractured both of the bones in her lower leg. She had surgery at Sacred Heart in Spokane and she will not be able to walk for some time, therefore she has to use a wheelchair. My parent's house was not equipped for wheelchair access, but thanks to the EMS crew from the Northern Lakes Fire Department (who transported my Dad to the hospital the day he died), and with materials and funds donated by Avista, a wheelchair ramp was built on Sunday (03/22/09). My family would like to extend our sincerest appreciation to the men from Northern Lakes Fire, along with Pete Woods and Marc Schaffner from Avista, for helping our family get a ramp built so that my sister could come home.
I am sure my Dad is smiling down on us all and shaking his head in embarrassment at the attention and honors paid to him. But I also know that he would be proud and humbled by the love and support we've been shown in the month since his passing. By having been the person he was, he somehow made sure he would take care of us even when he was gone.
As always, proud to be called, "Alan's daughter,"
Cyndi Broden Holbert
Pocatello, Idaho
I got this email back from the author of a column that my Dad loved called "Huckleberries"
cyndi; thank you for this touching story re: your late father and your sister. indeed, huckleberries print continues on. and i still relish stories like this. i plan to publish a piece about your e-mail in nextweek's huckleberries. meanwhile, huckleberries has an online component now. i already published a short story from the information you sent. along with a photo from our archives of your father at work. you can seeit here: http://www.spokesman.com/blogs/hbo/2009/mar/30/alan-broden-life-lived-well/
And in case this blog is around for a long time still, and that link isn't:
For more than 30 years, late Kootenai County 911 dispatcher Alan Broden was the calm voice in the face of chaos, directing patrol officers and emergency responders to their destinations. His retirement on Dec. 1 left a hole in the 911 dispatch center. His unexpected death Feb. 28 left a hole in the lives of his loved ones and friends. Hundreds attended his funeral. A day later, hardship hit the family again when daughter Sarah, a University of Idaho student, fell and fractured two bones in her lower leg. Which required surgery and a wheelchair. In an e-mail to Huckleberries Online, Alan’s daughter, Cyndi Broden Holbert, of Pocatello, tells what happened next: “My parent’s house was not equipped for wheelchair access, but thanks to the EMS crew from the Northern Lakes Fire Department (who transported my Dad to the hospital the day he died), and with materials and funds donated by Avista, a wheelchair ramp was built on Sunday (March 22).” By being the person he was, Cyndi concludes, her father “somehow made sure he would take care of us even when he was gone.” That’s what you call “paying it forward.”
When my Dad, Alan Broden, died suddenly on Feburary 28, 2009 I lost my best friend, my hero, and the biggest influence in my life. When hundreds of men and women came to his funeral six days later I realized that my family and I were not the only ones who felt the loss of an amazing man. My Dad was a 911 dispatcher in Kootenai County for over 30 years and he had just retired on December 1, 2008. He was a voice that many of the citizens of Kootenai County would recognize as being the calm force in their time of chaos. I would like to thank the Coeur d'Alene Police Department, specifically Wayne Longo and Erik Turrell, and the members of the Coeur d'Alene Fire Department Honor Guard for participating in my Dad's funeral. I would like to thank the Kootenai County Sheriff's Department, specifically Dan Soumas and Ben Wolfinger, for the compassion and assistance they provided in putting together a safe and fitting funeral. I would also like to thank Pastor Rodney Wright and Lake City Community Church for the use of their beautiful facility and services.
The day after we buried my Dad's remains my sister fell and fractured both of the bones in her lower leg. She had surgery at Sacred Heart in Spokane and she will not be able to walk for some time, therefore she has to use a wheelchair. My parent's house was not equipped for wheelchair access, but thanks to the EMS crew from the Northern Lakes Fire Department (who transported my Dad to the hospital the day he died), and with materials and funds donated by Avista, a wheelchair ramp was built on Sunday (03/22/09). My family would like to extend our sincerest appreciation to the men from Northern Lakes Fire, along with Pete Woods and Marc Schaffner from Avista, for helping our family get a ramp built so that my sister could come home.
I am sure my Dad is smiling down on us all and shaking his head in embarrassment at the attention and honors paid to him. But I also know that he would be proud and humbled by the love and support we've been shown in the month since his passing. By having been the person he was, he somehow made sure he would take care of us even when he was gone.
As always, proud to be called, "Alan's daughter,"
Cyndi Broden Holbert
Pocatello, Idaho
I got this email back from the author of a column that my Dad loved called "Huckleberries"
cyndi; thank you for this touching story re: your late father and your sister. indeed, huckleberries print continues on. and i still relish stories like this. i plan to publish a piece about your e-mail in nextweek's huckleberries. meanwhile, huckleberries has an online component now. i already published a short story from the information you sent. along with a photo from our archives of your father at work. you can seeit here: http://www.spokesman.com/blogs/hbo/2009/mar/30/alan-broden-life-lived-well/
And in case this blog is around for a long time still, and that link isn't:
For more than 30 years, late Kootenai County 911 dispatcher Alan Broden was the calm voice in the face of chaos, directing patrol officers and emergency responders to their destinations. His retirement on Dec. 1 left a hole in the 911 dispatch center. His unexpected death Feb. 28 left a hole in the lives of his loved ones and friends. Hundreds attended his funeral. A day later, hardship hit the family again when daughter Sarah, a University of Idaho student, fell and fractured two bones in her lower leg. Which required surgery and a wheelchair. In an e-mail to Huckleberries Online, Alan’s daughter, Cyndi Broden Holbert, of Pocatello, tells what happened next: “My parent’s house was not equipped for wheelchair access, but thanks to the EMS crew from the Northern Lakes Fire Department (who transported my Dad to the hospital the day he died), and with materials and funds donated by Avista, a wheelchair ramp was built on Sunday (March 22).” By being the person he was, Cyndi concludes, her father “somehow made sure he would take care of us even when he was gone.” That’s what you call “paying it forward.”
Thursday, March 26, 2009
What I really meant to say...
Planning a funeral service is a time consuming and tiring task. It was Thursday night at 10 pm before I got to sit down and try to put pen to paper for my portion of the service. I fell asleep before I accomplished anything and therefore had to wing it at Dad's service. I didn't do that great, it was hard to keep focused looking out on the faces of 400+ people who were all waiting for me to cry. So, now that I have time to breathe a little - here is what I would have said if I had had the time and energy to sit down and pour my heart out.
Impeccably bad/good Timing
Mom decided in December to have her much needed shoulder surgery done before Dad's health insurance ran out at the end of the month. So she's been on disability since December. Dad took care of her post surgery and because of her job, she had to take a couple of months off of work. So her and Dad were together pretty much 24/7 from mid-December until Dad died on February 28th.
Dad called me a couple of weeks ago, while they were on their train trip, "I bet you didn't know you had such adventurous parents did you?" Well of course I did, I told him, it's just that you've been tied down with kids for the last 32 years!
I googled Alan Broden
I googled Dad's name, looking for a news story that KXLY called me and interviewed me for. I didn't find the story but I did find a letter to the editor and his contact information at bnsf.com, along with this:
Kootenai County (ID) Central Dispatch Loses a Co-worker
I am writing in reference to a co-worker, Alan Broden. He passed away over the weekend at just 53 years old, after a lifelong battle with many medical ailments. He took a medical retirement in November of 2008 after working as a dispatcher since 1974. He may have been limited by his physical conditions but the impact he had on the countless lives he touched was not restricted. Alan won everyone over with his always present sense of humor and warm, helpful attitude.
Alan was an inspiration to all that worked with him. He was the epitome of dedication to his beloved profession and will be missed greatly.
We have set up a benefit fund under Alans name at Wells Fargo Bank to help offset expenses his family is incurring. Donations can be made at any Wells Fargo branch.
With deep sadness, we ask that the news of Alans passing be posted on your website; 911Cares.com
Thank you, Kelly Tomblin-Cottier
Kootenai County Central Dispatch/911
Coeur d' Alene, Idaho 208-446-1854
Kootenai County (ID) Central Dispatch Loses a Co-worker
I am writing in reference to a co-worker, Alan Broden. He passed away over the weekend at just 53 years old, after a lifelong battle with many medical ailments. He took a medical retirement in November of 2008 after working as a dispatcher since 1974. He may have been limited by his physical conditions but the impact he had on the countless lives he touched was not restricted. Alan won everyone over with his always present sense of humor and warm, helpful attitude.
Alan was an inspiration to all that worked with him. He was the epitome of dedication to his beloved profession and will be missed greatly.
We have set up a benefit fund under Alans name at Wells Fargo Bank to help offset expenses his family is incurring. Donations can be made at any Wells Fargo branch.
With deep sadness, we ask that the news of Alans passing be posted on your website; 911Cares.com
Thank you, Kelly Tomblin-Cottier
Kootenai County Central Dispatch/911
Coeur d' Alene, Idaho 208-446-1854
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Dad's obituary & guestbook...
Have you ever had to write someone else's obituary? I helped write my father-in-law's 6 years ago but I didn't really know the man, I just knew he created my husband and that alone made me love him. Writing my Dad's obituary was not as easy. It's ridiculous to me that the newspapers charge families for publishing obituaries - but they do. Summing up a man's life in 350 words or less is sad, but we managed to do it.
Alan Carl Broden, 53, of Hayden, Idaho, died February 28, 2009 at Kootenai Medical Center from congestive heart failure and pneumonia. Alan was born in Libby, Montana on December 4, 1955. He attended school in Libby and immediately after his high school graduation he went to work for the Lincoln County Sheriff's Office as a police dispatcher. Alan married Shirley Gilder on December 17, 1976 and they had four children. In 1979 they moved to Hayden, Idaho where Alan went to work for the Coeur d'Alene Police Department's dispatch center which later consolidated to become the Kootenai County Central Dispatch Center. He retired in late 2008 after 34 years in law enforcement. He was proud to have served the public and just as proud to say that he served the Lord.
Alan enjoyed reading, history, trains, computers, and his grandchildren. After raising kids for so many years, Alan and Shirley got to travel together some, but they had many trips yet to take. Alan enjoyed traveling to each of his children's houses so he could spoil his grandsons with love. Alan also enjoyed running up to Libby for the day to take his Mom to lunch. His family was his life and he was quick to remind his children that being their Dad was the greatest gift he had ever been given.
Alan is survived by his wife, Shirley, of Hayden; son John and his wife Heather of Boise, Idaho, daughter Cyndi Holbert and her husband Ed of Pocatello, Idaho, son Josiah and his wife Lisa of Cameron, Texas, and daughter Sarah Broden of Moscow, Idaho; and four grandsons. He is also survived by his mother, Elsie Broden of Libby, Montana; four brothers and four sisters. His father Bob and one brother preceded him in death.
A public memorial service will be held on Friday March 6, 2009 at 10:00 a.m. at Lake City Community Church located at 6000 N. Ramsey Road in Coeur d'Alene. His remains will later be buried near his father and brother in Libby, Montana during a private graveside ceremony.
Since I don't know how long Yates will keep this information up, I thought I would copy it over here so I can look back on it whenever I want. I don't know if Mom has been to Yates' website to read all these, but if she has time later, she can read them here.
I just want you to know that I am thinking about all of you. I would have been at the funeral had I known in time. Alan was a great guy! You are all in my prayers, Love, Nancy Erickson Johnson (formerly from Libby)
Nancy Johnson
Mar 26, 2009
Coeur d Alene, ID
*****
Dear Shirley, John, Cyndi, Josiah, Sarah, Elsie, Linda, Brenda, Robert, Kathy, Bruce, Kirk, Kim and Kris, I thank God for sending Alan to earth for 53 years to encourage the rest of us. Alan is the most loving, positive and encouraging person I have ever met, and as you have all said, never failed to make us all laugh. I can remember how much he loved the game of Risk and seldom lost. He approached life with that same winning attitude and seldom lost, and in the meantime showed the rest of us how best to go through life. We look forward to seeing you again, Alan! God bless all of you who are left here to continue Alan's legacy of hope. Mark & Lorena Skilbred and Family
Mark Skilbred
Mar 16, 2009
Upland, CA
Alan Carl Broden, 53, of Hayden, Idaho, died February 28, 2009 at Kootenai Medical Center from congestive heart failure and pneumonia. Alan was born in Libby, Montana on December 4, 1955. He attended school in Libby and immediately after his high school graduation he went to work for the Lincoln County Sheriff's Office as a police dispatcher. Alan married Shirley Gilder on December 17, 1976 and they had four children. In 1979 they moved to Hayden, Idaho where Alan went to work for the Coeur d'Alene Police Department's dispatch center which later consolidated to become the Kootenai County Central Dispatch Center. He retired in late 2008 after 34 years in law enforcement. He was proud to have served the public and just as proud to say that he served the Lord.
Alan enjoyed reading, history, trains, computers, and his grandchildren. After raising kids for so many years, Alan and Shirley got to travel together some, but they had many trips yet to take. Alan enjoyed traveling to each of his children's houses so he could spoil his grandsons with love. Alan also enjoyed running up to Libby for the day to take his Mom to lunch. His family was his life and he was quick to remind his children that being their Dad was the greatest gift he had ever been given.
Alan is survived by his wife, Shirley, of Hayden; son John and his wife Heather of Boise, Idaho, daughter Cyndi Holbert and her husband Ed of Pocatello, Idaho, son Josiah and his wife Lisa of Cameron, Texas, and daughter Sarah Broden of Moscow, Idaho; and four grandsons. He is also survived by his mother, Elsie Broden of Libby, Montana; four brothers and four sisters. His father Bob and one brother preceded him in death.
A public memorial service will be held on Friday March 6, 2009 at 10:00 a.m. at Lake City Community Church located at 6000 N. Ramsey Road in Coeur d'Alene. His remains will later be buried near his father and brother in Libby, Montana during a private graveside ceremony.
Since I don't know how long Yates will keep this information up, I thought I would copy it over here so I can look back on it whenever I want. I don't know if Mom has been to Yates' website to read all these, but if she has time later, she can read them here.
I just want you to know that I am thinking about all of you. I would have been at the funeral had I known in time. Alan was a great guy! You are all in my prayers, Love, Nancy Erickson Johnson (formerly from Libby)
Nancy Johnson
Mar 26, 2009
Coeur d Alene, ID
*****
Dear Shirley, John, Cyndi, Josiah, Sarah, Elsie, Linda, Brenda, Robert, Kathy, Bruce, Kirk, Kim and Kris, I thank God for sending Alan to earth for 53 years to encourage the rest of us. Alan is the most loving, positive and encouraging person I have ever met, and as you have all said, never failed to make us all laugh. I can remember how much he loved the game of Risk and seldom lost. He approached life with that same winning attitude and seldom lost, and in the meantime showed the rest of us how best to go through life. We look forward to seeing you again, Alan! God bless all of you who are left here to continue Alan's legacy of hope. Mark & Lorena Skilbred and Family
Mark Skilbred
Mar 16, 2009
Upland, CA
********************
My brother Kevin called me this evening (3/15/09) to tell me the news of Alan's passing. My tears are flowing. I am so sad to hear of this great loss to the Broden families. Alan was such a wonderful friend of mine growing up in the same neighborhood in Libby. I have fond memories of him and his entire family. I was so impressed with Elsie, his mother and how she handled her beautiful family. God bless each of you that mourns the loss of Alan. May he rest in peace in the arms of a loving Lord . . . . Missing him from Anchorage, Alaska Kerri Clark
Kerri (Everett) Clark
Mar 15, 2009
Anchorage, AK
My brother Kevin called me this evening (3/15/09) to tell me the news of Alan's passing. My tears are flowing. I am so sad to hear of this great loss to the Broden families. Alan was such a wonderful friend of mine growing up in the same neighborhood in Libby. I have fond memories of him and his entire family. I was so impressed with Elsie, his mother and how she handled her beautiful family. God bless each of you that mourns the loss of Alan. May he rest in peace in the arms of a loving Lord . . . . Missing him from Anchorage, Alaska Kerri Clark
Kerri (Everett) Clark
Mar 15, 2009
Anchorage, AK
********************
Dear Family: We are so sorry to hear of your loss. We just found out this info this eve. 3-12-o9. The last we spoke to Alan was at Down the Street Rest. He was so loking foward to retirement. We send our Best wishes for all the family Respectfully Rick and Karen
Rick & Karen Everhart
Mar 12, 2009
Pinehurst, ID
Dear Family: We are so sorry to hear of your loss. We just found out this info this eve. 3-12-o9. The last we spoke to Alan was at Down the Street Rest. He was so loking foward to retirement. We send our Best wishes for all the family Respectfully Rick and Karen
Rick & Karen Everhart
Mar 12, 2009
Pinehurst, ID
********************
Dear Cindy and family, My prayes and thoughts are with you in this sad time. Have faith and the Lord will see you through. Love Karrie
Karrie Prochko
Mar 10, 2009
Pocatello, ID
Dear Cindy and family, My prayes and thoughts are with you in this sad time. Have faith and the Lord will see you through. Love Karrie
Karrie Prochko
Mar 10, 2009
Pocatello, ID
********************
Dear Shirley and family, I'm very proud to have called Alan my cousin even though the miles have separated us over the past 20 years....our families have always had much in common, my mother Grace and Alan's mom Elsie always stayed in touch. It is a testament to Alan that he is so well remembered. May God keep your family in his grace and may Alan's memory never be forgotten. Sincerely, John Skilbred
John Skilbred
Mar 9, 2009
Vermillion, SD
Dear Shirley and family, I'm very proud to have called Alan my cousin even though the miles have separated us over the past 20 years....our families have always had much in common, my mother Grace and Alan's mom Elsie always stayed in touch. It is a testament to Alan that he is so well remembered. May God keep your family in his grace and may Alan's memory never be forgotten. Sincerely, John Skilbred
John Skilbred
Mar 9, 2009
Vermillion, SD
********************
I first heard of Alan (E.T.) Broden when I was a dispatcher with the Alaska State Police in Fairbanks and worked with his cousin Dan Skilbred. Dan told many stories, but I was still not prepared for his sense of humor and the wonderful friendship/mentoring/caring person that he was when I came to work at CPD and then Kootenai 911 with him. Although I left dispatching, I still managed to keep up with Alan and was happy when he finally retired and was planning those trips with Shirley. As you have all said, God has BIG plans for Alan and I know for certain that he will handle them as he did here, with the calm, cool demeanor he had on the radio. Once it is over, he'll crack that big smile that we all came to know and love and tease God about something as he did with many of us and next thing you know, God will be coming to Alan for he answers. We'll see you in the next life Alan, save a place for us. Kristi
Kristi Cooper
Mar 9, 2009
Athol, ID
********************
I first heard of Alan (E.T.) Broden when I was a dispatcher with the Alaska State Police in Fairbanks and worked with his cousin Dan Skilbred. Dan told many stories, but I was still not prepared for his sense of humor and the wonderful friendship/mentoring/caring person that he was when I came to work at CPD and then Kootenai 911 with him. Although I left dispatching, I still managed to keep up with Alan and was happy when he finally retired and was planning those trips with Shirley. As you have all said, God has BIG plans for Alan and I know for certain that he will handle them as he did here, with the calm, cool demeanor he had on the radio. Once it is over, he'll crack that big smile that we all came to know and love and tease God about something as he did with many of us and next thing you know, God will be coming to Alan for he answers. We'll see you in the next life Alan, save a place for us. Kristi
Kristi Cooper
Mar 9, 2009
Athol, ID
********************
I was very sorry to hear about Alan leaving us so soon. This man welcomed me with open arms when I moved to Idaho from Phoenix Police Dept. Dispatch. He was always there with a helping hand and a smile on his face. He helped me learn all of the roads in the area. Alan was always there when you needed him and willing to listen to anything you had to say and answer any question. God now has him to help navigate the roads of heaven and dispatch emergency angels as needed. We will all miss you and are all better for having known you. My prayers go to your family.
Debbie Manning
Mar 8, 2009
San Diego, CA
Debbie Manning
Mar 8, 2009
San Diego, CA
********************
Jim and I send our love and prayers to Shirley and the family. I (Linda) knew Alan from when I worked in Emergency Services; Alan was always cheerful, friendly, devoted, and professional. Shirley, we will be praying for you. God is our comfort and He will sustain you. Psalm 71:3
Jim and Linda Wines
Mar 8, 2009
Hayden, ID
Jim and I send our love and prayers to Shirley and the family. I (Linda) knew Alan from when I worked in Emergency Services; Alan was always cheerful, friendly, devoted, and professional. Shirley, we will be praying for you. God is our comfort and He will sustain you. Psalm 71:3
Jim and Linda Wines
Mar 8, 2009
Hayden, ID
********************
I am a friend of Cyndi. Words cannot express my sorrow upon hearing the news. May God give you the strength, love, and courage to see you through this difficult time. My prayers and heart are with your entire family.
Cathy Smith
Mar 6, 2009
Harrisburg, PA
I am a friend of Cyndi. Words cannot express my sorrow upon hearing the news. May God give you the strength, love, and courage to see you through this difficult time. My prayers and heart are with your entire family.
Cathy Smith
Mar 6, 2009
Harrisburg, PA
********************
My thoughts and prayers are with you, I am so very sorry for your loss. Cyndi is my great friend, and you all have my heart.
Laura Biermann
Mar 6, 2009
St. Louis, MO
My thoughts and prayers are with you, I am so very sorry for your loss. Cyndi is my great friend, and you all have my heart.
Laura Biermann
Mar 6, 2009
St. Louis, MO
********************
Shirley & Family, I want you to know how deeply sadden I am to hear about your loss of Alan. I'll alway's remember him as a kind gentle man with one heck of a sense of humor. He was a very professional when he did his job & a very compassionate person. He cared which made him special. I'll never forget him. My prayers are with you Shirley and your children.
Gary Telebar
Mar 6, 2009
Hayden, ID
Shirley & Family, I want you to know how deeply sadden I am to hear about your loss of Alan. I'll alway's remember him as a kind gentle man with one heck of a sense of humor. He was a very professional when he did his job & a very compassionate person. He cared which made him special. I'll never forget him. My prayers are with you Shirley and your children.
Gary Telebar
Mar 6, 2009
Hayden, ID
********************
Mike and I want to send out thoughts and prayers to you and all of your family. We are sorry we couldn't make the trip today to be with you all. We have such great memories of our time in Libby with Alen. He was a very special person. I know he will be missed greatly by you all. Love and Prayers, Jan and Mike
Mike & Jan McMeekin
Mar 6, 2009
Lolo, MO
Mike and I want to send out thoughts and prayers to you and all of your family. We are sorry we couldn't make the trip today to be with you all. We have such great memories of our time in Libby with Alen. He was a very special person. I know he will be missed greatly by you all. Love and Prayers, Jan and Mike
Mike & Jan McMeekin
Mar 6, 2009
Lolo, MO
********************
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming, WOW! What a ride!" – That was Alan! I was lucky to get to know Alan through my oldest brother, Chuck. Alan was quite the joker and always knew how to have fun and make you smile if not double you over with laughter. My condolences to his family. Alan will be greatly missed by many!
Charmaine Woods-Styles
Mar 6, 2009
Regina, SK CANADA
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming, WOW! What a ride!" – That was Alan! I was lucky to get to know Alan through my oldest brother, Chuck. Alan was quite the joker and always knew how to have fun and make you smile if not double you over with laughter. My condolences to his family. Alan will be greatly missed by many!
Charmaine Woods-Styles
Mar 6, 2009
Regina, SK CANADA
********************
Kootenai County has lost one of the best emergency dipatchers in recent times. Heck, he was the best. Too bad he had to leave us so soon after retirement. When I was working we used to kibitz back and forth all the time. Neither ever won but it was always a light at the end of the tunnel each visit. Alan was the greatest. See you later, man. Jim Axtell Asst. Fire Chief ret. (1992)
Jim Axtell
Mar 6, 2009
CdA, ID
Kootenai County has lost one of the best emergency dipatchers in recent times. Heck, he was the best. Too bad he had to leave us so soon after retirement. When I was working we used to kibitz back and forth all the time. Neither ever won but it was always a light at the end of the tunnel each visit. Alan was the greatest. See you later, man. Jim Axtell Asst. Fire Chief ret. (1992)
Jim Axtell
Mar 6, 2009
CdA, ID
********************
Shirley and Family, My deepest condolences. Alan was my buddy, partner, and sounding board during the development of the 911 center and consolidation of the existing dispatch centers. His patient "this too shall pass" philosophy is still a gifted memory. I truly regret I will not be able to attend his service, but Alan will be remembered in prayers.
Bert Rohrbach
Mar 6, 2009
Hayden, ID
Shirley and Family, My deepest condolences. Alan was my buddy, partner, and sounding board during the development of the 911 center and consolidation of the existing dispatch centers. His patient "this too shall pass" philosophy is still a gifted memory. I truly regret I will not be able to attend his service, but Alan will be remembered in prayers.
Bert Rohrbach
Mar 6, 2009
Hayden, ID
********************
I had the pleasure of working with Alan for the past few years. While most of the time he was a voice on the radio, I always smiled when I heard his voice. Alan, you will be deeply missed be many. To the family, know that he was loved by all who were fortunate enough to cross paths with him. I agree with the others when I say that God must have needed a Dispatcher in Heaven.
Karen Williams #2373
Mar 6, 2009
Spokane Valley, WA
I had the pleasure of working with Alan for the past few years. While most of the time he was a voice on the radio, I always smiled when I heard his voice. Alan, you will be deeply missed be many. To the family, know that he was loved by all who were fortunate enough to cross paths with him. I agree with the others when I say that God must have needed a Dispatcher in Heaven.
Karen Williams #2373
Mar 6, 2009
Spokane Valley, WA
********************
No words can express our love and support for Alan's family right now. He was our calm and steady voice in the midst of any kind of crisis.
Sheila & Brad Waughtal
Mar 6, 2009
Chugiak, AK
No words can express our love and support for Alan's family right now. He was our calm and steady voice in the midst of any kind of crisis.
Sheila & Brad Waughtal
Mar 6, 2009
Chugiak, AK
********************
I worked with Alan at the Coeur d'Alene PD for many years. I loved his sense of duty, to family and the job he loved. His sense of humor helped relieve many a stressful situation. You couldn't know him and not like him. The world has truly lost a good man. My condolences to his family, who he loved very much. He will be greatly missed.
DeAnn Lloyd
Mar 5, 2009
Coeur d'Alene, ID
I worked with Alan at the Coeur d'Alene PD for many years. I loved his sense of duty, to family and the job he loved. His sense of humor helped relieve many a stressful situation. You couldn't know him and not like him. The world has truly lost a good man. My condolences to his family, who he loved very much. He will be greatly missed.
DeAnn Lloyd
Mar 5, 2009
Coeur d'Alene, ID
********************
Cyndi I only knew your father though the stories you would tell me and the pictures you would show me. I am so sorry for the loss of a great man.
April Kulovany
Mar 5, 2009
Riverview, FL
Cyndi I only knew your father though the stories you would tell me and the pictures you would show me. I am so sorry for the loss of a great man.
April Kulovany
Mar 5, 2009
Riverview, FL
********************
I'm so saddened by Alans passing, He gave me wonderful memories, starting with being the responsible one for my being hired at at Kootenai 911. He was a compassionate and "enjoyable" person to be around, I know he's been saved a very special place in Heaven . . . and look forward to seeing him again . . when my time comes .... We've all lost a very wonderful friend . . Alan was a friend to all, I admired him dearly . Thank You Alan, and Enjoy Your Place in Heaven .. .
Barbara
Mar 5, 2009
Prior Lake, MN
I'm so saddened by Alans passing, He gave me wonderful memories, starting with being the responsible one for my being hired at at Kootenai 911. He was a compassionate and "enjoyable" person to be around, I know he's been saved a very special place in Heaven . . . and look forward to seeing him again . . when my time comes .... We've all lost a very wonderful friend . . Alan was a friend to all, I admired him dearly . Thank You Alan, and Enjoy Your Place in Heaven .. .
Barbara
Mar 5, 2009
Prior Lake, MN
********************
I shall miss Alan. When he came into the clinic, he always made my day! His smile and positive attitude brightened up the room. He always spoke with pride about his family and you could see the love he had for his family in his eyes. We shared many a quiet laugh about the things our children did. I shall miss him.
Elsa Powers
Mar 5, 2009
Coeur d'Alene, ID
I shall miss Alan. When he came into the clinic, he always made my day! His smile and positive attitude brightened up the room. He always spoke with pride about his family and you could see the love he had for his family in his eyes. We shared many a quiet laugh about the things our children did. I shall miss him.
Elsa Powers
Mar 5, 2009
Coeur d'Alene, ID
********************
We are really sorry to hear of Alan's passing. I'm sorry we are unable to attend the service but am sure our family will be well respresented by Judy, Dave & MaryAnn. Alan was great at turning lemons into lemonade and hence, inspired many. Our hearts go out to Shirley and their children, Elsie and Alan's brothers & sisters. This brings special thoughts your way.
John & Ellen Christensen
Mar 5, 2009
Idaho Falls, ID
We are really sorry to hear of Alan's passing. I'm sorry we are unable to attend the service but am sure our family will be well respresented by Judy, Dave & MaryAnn. Alan was great at turning lemons into lemonade and hence, inspired many. Our hearts go out to Shirley and their children, Elsie and Alan's brothers & sisters. This brings special thoughts your way.
John & Ellen Christensen
Mar 5, 2009
Idaho Falls, ID
********************
We are sorry to hear about your loss. Our condolences to all the faimily members. vyto Simaitis
vyto simaitis
Mar 5, 2009
Coeur D' Alene, ID
We are sorry to hear about your loss. Our condolences to all the faimily members. vyto Simaitis
vyto simaitis
Mar 5, 2009
Coeur D' Alene, ID
********************
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones.(Psalm 116:15) He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.(Rev.21:4) Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
Chaplain Clark, Cda. P.D.
Mar 5, 2009
Coeur d' Alene, ID
********************
All I can say buddy is that God needed a dispatcher. In these times I am sure his call volume is pretty high. I will miss you. You were a great trainer, mentor and friend. I know now when you dispatch out a call to one of the angels up there in heaven you will never hear back - "Can you hold that one for the next shift I am almost off duty," or "Can this be handled by phone." I had a great time working with you. I can count myself as one of the lucky ones in life simply because I knew you. Go rest high on that mountain your work on Earth is through...
Tom Jones
Mar 5, 2009
Post Falls , ID
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones.(Psalm 116:15) He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.(Rev.21:4) Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
Chaplain Clark, Cda. P.D.
Mar 5, 2009
Coeur d' Alene, ID
********************
All I can say buddy is that God needed a dispatcher. In these times I am sure his call volume is pretty high. I will miss you. You were a great trainer, mentor and friend. I know now when you dispatch out a call to one of the angels up there in heaven you will never hear back - "Can you hold that one for the next shift I am almost off duty," or "Can this be handled by phone." I had a great time working with you. I can count myself as one of the lucky ones in life simply because I knew you. Go rest high on that mountain your work on Earth is through...
Tom Jones
Mar 5, 2009
Post Falls , ID
********************
I am so sorry for your loss, you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Krista Diekemper
Mar 5, 2009
Pocatello, ID
I am so sorry for your loss, you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Krista Diekemper
Mar 5, 2009
Pocatello, ID
********************
Cyndi: Your father was a great man and very loved. My prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.
Laly
Mar 5, 2009
Miami, FL
Cyndi: Your father was a great man and very loved. My prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.
Laly
Mar 5, 2009
Miami, FL
********************
I worked for the Coeur d'Alene Police Department when Alan was first hired. My name at that time was Pat Allen. Alan had a personality that was beautiful. You couldn't help but feel good whenever he was around. Over the years I ran into Alan (usually at Super One) several times. He was still the same great, happy person. Everyone that met him is a better person for having known him. I will miss you Alan. You are in my prayers. Patty Hohnwaldt
Patty Hohnwaldt
Mar 5, 2009
Bayview, ID
I worked for the Coeur d'Alene Police Department when Alan was first hired. My name at that time was Pat Allen. Alan had a personality that was beautiful. You couldn't help but feel good whenever he was around. Over the years I ran into Alan (usually at Super One) several times. He was still the same great, happy person. Everyone that met him is a better person for having known him. I will miss you Alan. You are in my prayers. Patty Hohnwaldt
Patty Hohnwaldt
Mar 5, 2009
Bayview, ID
********************
Nile and I knew Alan from two different areas. Nile said," Alan was a good dispatcher. He cared about his officers." I got to know Alan as he visited our medical office. He was always upbeat, and strong with whatever challenge he faced. We will miss him.
Nile and Jayne Shirley
Mar 5, 2009
Hayden, ID
Nile and I knew Alan from two different areas. Nile said," Alan was a good dispatcher. He cared about his officers." I got to know Alan as he visited our medical office. He was always upbeat, and strong with whatever challenge he faced. We will miss him.
Nile and Jayne Shirley
Mar 5, 2009
Hayden, ID
********************
I have known Alan for 20 years. When I first came to Coeur d'Alene jobless, he managed to get me on at the city part time and eventually full time. Alan had a magnificent sense of humor and was sometimes the player of practical jokes. He was a joy to work with. You knew if he was on your shift, everything would be ok. For as much pain as he suffered, I'm sure heaven will grant him a deserved rest. Our thoughts are with his family.
Jon & Sandi Pequignot
Mar 5, 2009
Bullhead City, AZ
I have known Alan for 20 years. When I first came to Coeur d'Alene jobless, he managed to get me on at the city part time and eventually full time. Alan had a magnificent sense of humor and was sometimes the player of practical jokes. He was a joy to work with. You knew if he was on your shift, everything would be ok. For as much pain as he suffered, I'm sure heaven will grant him a deserved rest. Our thoughts are with his family.
Jon & Sandi Pequignot
Mar 5, 2009
Bullhead City, AZ
********************
Dear Cyndi and family, I will never forget your Dad's smiling face. What an inspiration to us all!! I don't think I ever saw him without a smile and his sense of humor. From helping out with softball when we were very young to reassuring my Mom that all would be okay when her basement flooded..again:), he was a very generous and kind person. He will be missed by so many!! Thinking of you, Korey and family
Korey Russell
Mar 5, 2009
Boise, ID
Dear Cyndi and family, I will never forget your Dad's smiling face. What an inspiration to us all!! I don't think I ever saw him without a smile and his sense of humor. From helping out with softball when we were very young to reassuring my Mom that all would be okay when her basement flooded..again:), he was a very generous and kind person. He will be missed by so many!! Thinking of you, Korey and family
Korey Russell
Mar 5, 2009
Boise, ID
********************
Thank you Alan for your years of friendship. Your witty humor and positive outlook will be truely missed. Your smile always welcomed us when when we would see you despite how you felt that day. It was a pleasure working with your in those early law enforcement days. Our thoughts are with you and your family at this time.
Don & Jami Stuart
Mar 5, 2009
Spirit Lake, ID
Thank you Alan for your years of friendship. Your witty humor and positive outlook will be truely missed. Your smile always welcomed us when when we would see you despite how you felt that day. It was a pleasure working with your in those early law enforcement days. Our thoughts are with you and your family at this time.
Don & Jami Stuart
Mar 5, 2009
Spirit Lake, ID
********************
Our thought and prayers go out to Shirley and family. Alan was a giant of a man, with a passion for public safety. I'm honored to have worked with and known him Heaven will be very organized with Alan working the radio there. May you rest in peace. Wayne and Ginny Longo
wayne longo
Mar 5, 2009
ID
Our thought and prayers go out to Shirley and family. Alan was a giant of a man, with a passion for public safety. I'm honored to have worked with and known him Heaven will be very organized with Alan working the radio there. May you rest in peace. Wayne and Ginny Longo
wayne longo
Mar 5, 2009
ID
********************
Dear Shirley and Family, Alan was a very special person. All of us who were lucky enough to be a part of his life will never forget him and what he gave us all in return. I am going to miss him greatly. I remember the 2 brief years I got to work for him at CDA PD 911 Dispatch 20 yrs ago and it is a time I have in my memories that I will never forget. Because Alan was a very special friend and my supervisor I took what I learned from him and transferred that knowledge when I became a Jail Sgt back in Michigan. I have never had another boss come close to being the best boss as Alan. Take care, may God bless you and help you through this time of your life.
Laura Sekon
Mar 5, 2009
Coeur d Alene, ID
Dear Shirley and Family, Alan was a very special person. All of us who were lucky enough to be a part of his life will never forget him and what he gave us all in return. I am going to miss him greatly. I remember the 2 brief years I got to work for him at CDA PD 911 Dispatch 20 yrs ago and it is a time I have in my memories that I will never forget. Because Alan was a very special friend and my supervisor I took what I learned from him and transferred that knowledge when I became a Jail Sgt back in Michigan. I have never had another boss come close to being the best boss as Alan. Take care, may God bless you and help you through this time of your life.
Laura Sekon
Mar 5, 2009
Coeur d Alene, ID
********************
Our harts go out to all of you. He will be miss by many. Out Condolences.
LaMarr(Skip) and Joyce Rapp
Mar 4, 2009
Post Falls, ID
Our harts go out to all of you. He will be miss by many. Out Condolences.
LaMarr(Skip) and Joyce Rapp
Mar 4, 2009
Post Falls, ID
********************
Shirley and family I worked with Alan for 27 years. I loved him as a friend and confidant. I will miss him incredibly. He was my hero and no one could ever replace him. He was the strongest person I have ever known. God certainly wanted Alan in heaven because he is such a bright light in everyone's lives. I will watch for a bright star and think of him.
Barbara J McDonald
Mar 4, 2009
Coeur d'Alene, ID
Shirley and family I worked with Alan for 27 years. I loved him as a friend and confidant. I will miss him incredibly. He was my hero and no one could ever replace him. He was the strongest person I have ever known. God certainly wanted Alan in heaven because he is such a bright light in everyone's lives. I will watch for a bright star and think of him.
Barbara J McDonald
Mar 4, 2009
Coeur d'Alene, ID
********************
ALAN WAS A GOOD FRIEND AND MENTOR FOR ME. HE HAD A SPECIAL WAY OF MAKING YOU LAUGH WHEN YOU WERE DOWN, AND GAVE YOU WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO HELP YOU ALONG WHEN YOU WERE STRUGGLING. HE TRULY ENJOYED HIS FAMILY AND TALKED ABOUT THEM ALOT. ON LAST SATURDAY HE TOOK HIS FINAL TRAIN RIDE ON EARTH AND WILL TAKE MANY TRAIN RIDES IN HEAVEN. HE IS IN A BETTER PLACE NOW, WITHOUT PAIN. I WILL MISS HIM VERY MUCH.
Terry Hoggatt
Mar 4, 2009
POST FALLS, ID
ALAN WAS A GOOD FRIEND AND MENTOR FOR ME. HE HAD A SPECIAL WAY OF MAKING YOU LAUGH WHEN YOU WERE DOWN, AND GAVE YOU WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO HELP YOU ALONG WHEN YOU WERE STRUGGLING. HE TRULY ENJOYED HIS FAMILY AND TALKED ABOUT THEM ALOT. ON LAST SATURDAY HE TOOK HIS FINAL TRAIN RIDE ON EARTH AND WILL TAKE MANY TRAIN RIDES IN HEAVEN. HE IS IN A BETTER PLACE NOW, WITHOUT PAIN. I WILL MISS HIM VERY MUCH.
Terry Hoggatt
Mar 4, 2009
POST FALLS, ID
********************
I HAVE WORKED WITH ALAN FOR THE LAST 6 YEARS. WORKING IN SUCH A SMALL ROOM YOU REALLY GET TO KNOW A PERSON. I SO ADMIRE ALAN, HIS WORK ETHIC, DEDICATION TO HIS FAMILY AND ENDLESS SELFLESS GIVING WITHOUT COMPLAINT. ALAN TRUELY HAS SO MANY ADMIRABLE QUALITIES THAT MADE HIM A WONDERFUL MAN. I WILL REALLY MISS HIM.
JEANENE PITTS
Mar 4, 2009
CAREYWOOD, ID
I HAVE WORKED WITH ALAN FOR THE LAST 6 YEARS. WORKING IN SUCH A SMALL ROOM YOU REALLY GET TO KNOW A PERSON. I SO ADMIRE ALAN, HIS WORK ETHIC, DEDICATION TO HIS FAMILY AND ENDLESS SELFLESS GIVING WITHOUT COMPLAINT. ALAN TRUELY HAS SO MANY ADMIRABLE QUALITIES THAT MADE HIM A WONDERFUL MAN. I WILL REALLY MISS HIM.
JEANENE PITTS
Mar 4, 2009
CAREYWOOD, ID
********************
Sarah and family: My deepest sympathy at the loss of your Dad. He was a proud family man. I'll never forget his gentle, soothing voice whenever he talked about you or read scriptures at church. He used that voice to the glory of God and never complained about his health problems. He's an inspiration. Tink, know that you are loved by your friends and that your Dad lives on in you, his beautiful gift. God's peace in these difficult days.
Cindy Mitchell
Mar 4, 2009
COEUR D'ALENE, ID
Sarah and family: My deepest sympathy at the loss of your Dad. He was a proud family man. I'll never forget his gentle, soothing voice whenever he talked about you or read scriptures at church. He used that voice to the glory of God and never complained about his health problems. He's an inspiration. Tink, know that you are loved by your friends and that your Dad lives on in you, his beautiful gift. God's peace in these difficult days.
Cindy Mitchell
Mar 4, 2009
COEUR D'ALENE, ID
********************
To the family of Alan Broden: I had the pleasure of working with Alan way back in the mid 80's. At the time I was a new dispatcher at ISP and called him many times for his assistance. I also had the pleasure of working with him at the Kootenai County 911 center in 1995. He was the kindest person I have ever met! He truly loved his job as a dispatcher and kept the officers safe. I will miss his big smile and cheery voice. May your memories of Alan help all of you through this very difficult time! He will be truly missed! Natalie Allred--Idaho State Police
Natalie Allred
Mar 4, 2009
Spirit Lake, ID
To the family of Alan Broden: I had the pleasure of working with Alan way back in the mid 80's. At the time I was a new dispatcher at ISP and called him many times for his assistance. I also had the pleasure of working with him at the Kootenai County 911 center in 1995. He was the kindest person I have ever met! He truly loved his job as a dispatcher and kept the officers safe. I will miss his big smile and cheery voice. May your memories of Alan help all of you through this very difficult time! He will be truly missed! Natalie Allred--Idaho State Police
Natalie Allred
Mar 4, 2009
Spirit Lake, ID
Monday, March 16, 2009
I cried for you last night
I miss you Dad. I was laying in bed and when I closed my eyes I saw your face. I heard your voice as if we were on the phone together and you were asking me how the G Man was. I tried so hard not to cry, to be strong, but I just really, really miss you. When I take a cell phone pic of G I go to send it to you, but I have to stop myself - because you won't get it. G is almost walking already, and I go to call you to tell you "you were right - he's an early walker," but my call will go nowhere. When G started saying "dada" I wanted to tell you - knowing that you would think it was funny that Ed got the dada first. But I can't call you, I can't text you, I can't find you on MSN, I can't even see you in person anymore. And that hurts so bad I can't even put it into words.
Why now? Why so soon? Two days from today you were supposed to be down here on your road trip with Sarah in your cool new truck. You were supposed to wrassle with G and work on my stupid computer. You were supposed to go scope out animals with Ed and just kick back and relax and enjoy being a Grandpa. Why did you leave us??? Did God give me G because he knew he was going to take you away from me? Is G my "reward" for this hurt? I don't know how to make sure he grows up knowing about his Grandpa and how much you loved him. Just with pictures? With words of wisdom? How does a mother do that???
I know your body was tired, and so much older than 53 years, and I wonder if I didn't just ignore that fact for the last 5 years. I knew you wouldn't live to be a little old man, I knew we wouldn't be picking out a nursing home for you - but I wasn't ready for this, not yet. People keep saying to me, "Well at least he won't be hurting anymore." I know you - you would have taken the pain to stay, you weren't done living yet. So the "not hurting" comments don't make me feel any better at all, they just make me sadder.
What killed you? The death certificate just leaves me with more questions. Nowhere does it mention anything about your heart. It lists Respiratory Failure and Pneumonia as your causes of death. None of us were with you when you started having a hard time breathing, since they had sent Mom home telling her you were going to be okay. Did you know what was happening? When I think about it I can't help but picture your face and the panic/fear that must have been in your eyes. I never wanted that for you. I wanted days, weeks, months to know that we were losing you - I wanted us to be at your bedside holding your hand when you slipped into the arms of the Lord.
Everyone keeps saying, "Well at least he got to take his train trip." I think it's what killed you. I think you pushed it too hard. I know you had a great trip, but I think you didn't sleep enough, eat well, and you probably came into contact with some questionable people. Would it have been easier on you if you'd taken it in December or January? Would it have been easier if you'd paid for a sleeper the whole trip? I don't know, and I never will. What I do know is that you had a good time, with your "trip buddy" by your side the whole time. I know Mom took good care of you and I know just being together made the trip worthwhile. But it's something that has been on my mind lately.
Ed cried with me last night. He misses you something terrible. He is very impressed with your truck - he said you did a great job picking it out, but of course he's sad that you never really got to enjoy it. He gets mad with me when I get mad, and he gets sad with me too. It's not a sad like he lost his father-in-law so much as sad that he lost a very close friend. You were supposed to come learn all about the Lolo National Forest right along with him. He was figuring out a way for you to ride a 4 wheeler right alongside him. He wanted you to come out in the woods with him and G, knowing how much you enjoyed doing that. But he's resigned to the fact that now you will have to enjoy the view from heaven. I can let Ed and G wander the woods knowing that they have you watching over them and enjoying their conversations about different kinds of trees, plants, and animal tracks. When they hear a bird whistling I hope they think of you.
Since I can't call you anymore, and can't talk to you any way other than in my head and my heart, I can type here - right? You were a "fan" of my G blog so you would understand my need to talk about it. I don't really care if I hurt anyone's feelings by saying what I'm feeling and thinking, they can stop visiting my blog if that's the case.
I'm scared that I'm going to forget what your voice sounded like, the way you called me Cynder, the way you called G your "peschial little G Man," or your laugh that rocked your whole body. I never want to forget your face, how it looks just like mine, but manly and older. I already miss the sound of your crutches clanking and your four legs moving in the room above me. I miss the way you'd cough to clear your chest, the way you'd take all your pills and space them out on the breakfast table and leave your Ziploc baggy on the dirty plate, and the way you'd pull on your eyebrow hairs and then blow them away. I don't want to forget even one part of you.
Please, come back.
Why now? Why so soon? Two days from today you were supposed to be down here on your road trip with Sarah in your cool new truck. You were supposed to wrassle with G and work on my stupid computer. You were supposed to go scope out animals with Ed and just kick back and relax and enjoy being a Grandpa. Why did you leave us??? Did God give me G because he knew he was going to take you away from me? Is G my "reward" for this hurt? I don't know how to make sure he grows up knowing about his Grandpa and how much you loved him. Just with pictures? With words of wisdom? How does a mother do that???
I know your body was tired, and so much older than 53 years, and I wonder if I didn't just ignore that fact for the last 5 years. I knew you wouldn't live to be a little old man, I knew we wouldn't be picking out a nursing home for you - but I wasn't ready for this, not yet. People keep saying to me, "Well at least he won't be hurting anymore." I know you - you would have taken the pain to stay, you weren't done living yet. So the "not hurting" comments don't make me feel any better at all, they just make me sadder.
What killed you? The death certificate just leaves me with more questions. Nowhere does it mention anything about your heart. It lists Respiratory Failure and Pneumonia as your causes of death. None of us were with you when you started having a hard time breathing, since they had sent Mom home telling her you were going to be okay. Did you know what was happening? When I think about it I can't help but picture your face and the panic/fear that must have been in your eyes. I never wanted that for you. I wanted days, weeks, months to know that we were losing you - I wanted us to be at your bedside holding your hand when you slipped into the arms of the Lord.
Everyone keeps saying, "Well at least he got to take his train trip." I think it's what killed you. I think you pushed it too hard. I know you had a great trip, but I think you didn't sleep enough, eat well, and you probably came into contact with some questionable people. Would it have been easier on you if you'd taken it in December or January? Would it have been easier if you'd paid for a sleeper the whole trip? I don't know, and I never will. What I do know is that you had a good time, with your "trip buddy" by your side the whole time. I know Mom took good care of you and I know just being together made the trip worthwhile. But it's something that has been on my mind lately.
Ed cried with me last night. He misses you something terrible. He is very impressed with your truck - he said you did a great job picking it out, but of course he's sad that you never really got to enjoy it. He gets mad with me when I get mad, and he gets sad with me too. It's not a sad like he lost his father-in-law so much as sad that he lost a very close friend. You were supposed to come learn all about the Lolo National Forest right along with him. He was figuring out a way for you to ride a 4 wheeler right alongside him. He wanted you to come out in the woods with him and G, knowing how much you enjoyed doing that. But he's resigned to the fact that now you will have to enjoy the view from heaven. I can let Ed and G wander the woods knowing that they have you watching over them and enjoying their conversations about different kinds of trees, plants, and animal tracks. When they hear a bird whistling I hope they think of you.
Since I can't call you anymore, and can't talk to you any way other than in my head and my heart, I can type here - right? You were a "fan" of my G blog so you would understand my need to talk about it. I don't really care if I hurt anyone's feelings by saying what I'm feeling and thinking, they can stop visiting my blog if that's the case.
I'm scared that I'm going to forget what your voice sounded like, the way you called me Cynder, the way you called G your "peschial little G Man," or your laugh that rocked your whole body. I never want to forget your face, how it looks just like mine, but manly and older. I already miss the sound of your crutches clanking and your four legs moving in the room above me. I miss the way you'd cough to clear your chest, the way you'd take all your pills and space them out on the breakfast table and leave your Ziploc baggy on the dirty plate, and the way you'd pull on your eyebrow hairs and then blow them away. I don't want to forget even one part of you.
Please, come back.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
The saddest time of my life...
I had called Dad on Thursday, to ask him if he had found his truck yet. I woke him up, he was taking a nap. He just said he was really tired and and that he had found his truck but he hadn't bought it yet.
I called Dad on Friday, after I got a picture on my cell phone from Mom showing him standing by his 2009 Ford F150, and he didn't answer his phone. I called Mom and she said he was napping, again.
Mom texted me on Saturday afternoon, while I was at work, and asked me if anyone at my house had been sick. "No, why?" I texted back. She said, "Just wondering, I'll call you later." When I got off work at about 6 pm I called his phone, but he didn't answer. Mom hadn't called me yet so I called her and she said that Dad was sick with what they thought was pneumonia and that they had admitted him to the ICU. She sounded a little upset, but we'd been down this road a few times with Dad, most recently this summer. Mom told me that he had been taking a bath and he had just gotten too weak for some reason and she had to help him out to the living room. She called and ambulance because she couldn't get him to the car by herself. She said that they were trying a few different routes of treatment. I didn't ask to talk to him, I figured that he must be pretty tired and was probably hooked up to all sorts of stuff and didn't want to talk. I can't even explain how much I wish I had asked to talk to him. I worried all evening.
I remember going to bed a little bit late, considering I had to work at 8 am the next morning. Shortly after I laid down in bed G woke up and I went into his room and nursed him. I sat in the dark and in my head I went over everything I was going to blog about the next day, telling my Dad how much I loved him and what he meant to me, etc...because I didn't tell him that kind of thing often enough. After I got G back to sleep I went to sleep too. My brother John texted me at 12:20 am but I didn't hear the text. It said, "1st, dont' call Mom she's hauling ass 2 hospital. they called mom & said Dad stopped breathing. Doing CPR now. I didn't even know he was in 4 more heart trouble". I found that text later. At about 12:30 my time my Mom called. I remember being started by my phone ringing and not even really noticing who was calling when I answered. I remember hearing Mom, crying. I couldn't make out what she was saying. I was trying to console her until I heard the words "your dad" and "dead." It took me a second and I said, "Did you just say my Dad is dead?" And through her sobs she said yes. For a brief second I tried to tell her I was sorry, but then I lost it. I dropped my phone and broke down.
"NOT MY DAD! NOT MY DAD!" was all I could cry, over and over. Ed picked up my phone and I don't know what he told my Mom, other than that we would be on our way up as soon as we could be. "NOT MY DAD! MY DAD CAN'T BE DEAD!" was all I remember. I punched everything around me while crying and screaming. Poor Ed tried to hold me, to comfort me. But it hurt so so bad. He told me, "Let's get packed and get going." I made a few very teary phone calls, one to Dad's work and then one to ISP, trying to find my friend Mary. Trisha was there and she talked to me and she later called Mary and she and Mary went to my Mom's house and stayed with her until Sarah got home from Moscow. What an amazing support system.
Ed and I threw a bunch of stuff together, made the decisions to not take the dogs, and then woke up G and hit the road. We were on the road by 3 am. I fielded phone call after phone call on the drive up and dealt with a very cranky little boy who normally travels well. We got into CDA at about 10:30 am. We got to the house and I hugged my Mom and my sister and we cried a little, then family started showing up. I sat down with Mom and we made some quick decisions on a funeral home and such and I got on the phone and made arrangements for Yates Funeral Home to pick up Dad's body from the morgue. I hate that word...morgue. After taking care of that and setting up an appointment for Mom and I to visit the funeral home director the next day, I got started on another issue.
I contacted Lake City Ford because Dad had bought his 2009 Ford F150 Thursday evening. We were all under the understanding that a person had 72 hours to basically give back the vehicle and get out of the deal, and since we were within that 72 hours still on Sunday, I called the dealership. The person that I spoke with flat out told me that he remembered my Dad and that he was sorry to hear he had died, but that they weren't going to be taking the truck back. He told me that the 72 hour rule is a myth and it doesn't really exist. We came to find out, later that the "72 hour rule" actually protects Lake City Ford, not a buyer. It means that Lake City Ford can request to have the vehicle back if the buyer can't provide financing within 72 hours. Since my Dad had made a $4000 down payment (he cashed in his PERSI Choice) and Numerica had already paid for the truck, there was no going back on the deal. Lake City had their money, and that's all that mattered to them. Numerica gave Mom the option of a voluntary repossession - which would have lost her Dad's $4000 down payment and it would have ruined her credit. Someone suggested that we have Rocky Watson, the sheriff of Kootenai County, talk to Tom Addis, the owner of Lake City Ford. Rocky never did that and Addis would not talk to me when I went into the dealership more than once that week. The media wasn't interested in the story (I thought some bad press might put some pressure on Lake City Ford) as it dealt with something contractual.
On Sunday, with a house full of family members and all the arrangements made that could be made, I stepped outside for a minute to breathe, and cry. I was crying and asking myself, "WHY???" when I heard a rustling in Dad's gigantic Japanese maple tree. I looked at the tree and saw the leaves rustling like crazy, but there was no wind. I even did the ol' lick the finger wind test check. No wind. Still crying I walked over to the tree and looked up in it's branches. Not a bird to be seen. I leaned against the tree and hugged myself, wishing that I would wake up from this terrible dream. The rustling continued and even got louder. Then it hit me. I looked up at the sky, stopped crying, and said, "I know Dad, I know. I'm going to miss you so much." I smiled and the rustling stopped.
Mom and I met with the funeral director and we had some more decisions to make. Dad had never really told Mom what he wanted as far as a funeral or entombment, etc...but he did say that he wanted to be buried by his Dad in Libby. Mom decided that since she knew she wanted to be creamated, that we would have Dad cremated. The fee's involved in death are un-freakin-believable. There are refrigeration fees, a $155 fee for the cardboard box they put Dad's body in, $55 for the obituary, etc...when I got back to Ed I told him that we needed to start saving for his death now. Morbid, but ridiculously true.
My next task was to figure out a date and location for a memorial service. I figured we'd have a large turnout of mourners, so we'd need a bigger church. It would have to be in a church, Dad would have had it no other way. I felt guilty not having his funeral at Trinity Lutheran, the church he(we) attended for as long as I can remember. But there was no way there would be enough room. With some help I found Lake City Community Church, right across from the high school on Ramsey Road. It was BEAUTIFUL. I think Dad would have liked it. The pastor at Dad's church was really quite new so we decided that we'd just ask one of the pastors at Lake City to conduct the service. We were lucky enough to get to have Pastor Rodney Wright agree to work wtih us. What a great guy. In the first hour I spent with him, I felt very comfortable in our decision, I know Dad would have enjoyed him as much as I did. He told us that "death is the price we pay for getting to love someone."
The prices at the funeral home kind of bothered me. The programs they hand out with Dad's information on them were all pretty generic and expensive. So I told Mom we'd make them. The slideshow of pictures was $300 for 45 pictures, and $45 EACH PICTURE thereafter. I had never made a slideshow before but I decided that it was time to learn how to do that. I knew we'd have plenty of photos so it would be hard to limit it to just 45 pictures. Dad used to hear the Mike & the Mechanics song "The Living Years" and he told all us kids, "I want you to play this at my funeral." So there was no doubt that we would play it for him. As a family we sat down and went through some boxes of pictures, finding some of our favorites. Josiah scanned them all for me and I got to work on the slideshow. I realized it was a little bit out of my league, so I called in reinforcements. A lady named Kelly that I went to school (like elementary through high school) with, who ended up working with Dad at Kootenai County used a woman to make a slideshow for her wedding a few months earlier, so she put me in touch with that woman. I handed over the CD of pictures and the music that we wanted and trusted the she'd make it all work. She did. Wonderfully. I went back to working on the programs.
We also had to set up a graveside service, preferably just for close friends and family, in Libby on Saturday. Thankfully I was able to call my uncle Bruce (my Dad's younger brother) and tell him what we wanted to have done. He made the majority of the arrangements in Libby for us, including a plot, the pastor, and a lovely little luncheon served by the church ladies after we buried Dad's remains.
Finally by Thursday at about 10 pm I was able to sit down and write down what I wanted to say at the funeral the next day. I fell asleep instead and ended up having to wing it. When Friday morning at 10 am rolled around, we were ready to honor Dad. I hope we did well. There were a couple of hundred people in attendance, a large amount of them being uniformed law enforcement and other emergency medical services. Ed read Dad's eulogy, and for someone who is not a public speaker, he did an amazing job. I was so so so proud of him. Coeur d'Alene Police Chief Wayne Longo spoke, then Jackie Woods (Dad's best friend since childhood is Jackie's husband Chuck), and then Dad's baby sister Kris spoke and read something from Dad's big brother Bob. We played the slideshow, which made people cry but more importantly made them laugh. Then John spoke, Josiah spoke, and I spoke with Sarah by my side. We shared memories and talked about what an amazing person Dad was, and how this had all happened much too soon. It was over before I knew it and I found myself in the foyer greeting people that I had not seen for years. I hate that that's how we reconnected, but it was nice to see people paying respects to the greatest man I have ever known.
Mom decided she wanted to go to Libby that day. She packed her bag and took the urn with Dad's remains and set it on the passenger seat of Dad's new truck. She took him on their final road trip together in his new truck that he never got to truly enjoy. I think it was really good for her to get some alone time.
Saturday morning we met at the gravesite and said our final goodbyes. We all went to the church that Dad grew up in and the church ladies had put together a lunch for us all. I found out later that after we all left my uncle Bruce buried Dad's urn. Him and my Dad were very close, and as little boys they would play trucks and pretend to be the owners of "Broden Excavating," which just happens to be the name of my uncle Bruce's side business now. We took plenty of pictures and we got to catch up with so many relatives, distant and immediate. I remember smiling and thinking, "Dad would have loved to be here talking to his cousins, his aunt Ruth, etc...)."
I can't believe my Dad is dead. It hurt so much to lose him, but I know my Dad would have loved to have been there with so many of his family members and friends gathered. My Dad led a good life and he was loved by so many people.
I called Dad on Friday, after I got a picture on my cell phone from Mom showing him standing by his 2009 Ford F150, and he didn't answer his phone. I called Mom and she said he was napping, again.
Mom texted me on Saturday afternoon, while I was at work, and asked me if anyone at my house had been sick. "No, why?" I texted back. She said, "Just wondering, I'll call you later." When I got off work at about 6 pm I called his phone, but he didn't answer. Mom hadn't called me yet so I called her and she said that Dad was sick with what they thought was pneumonia and that they had admitted him to the ICU. She sounded a little upset, but we'd been down this road a few times with Dad, most recently this summer. Mom told me that he had been taking a bath and he had just gotten too weak for some reason and she had to help him out to the living room. She called and ambulance because she couldn't get him to the car by herself. She said that they were trying a few different routes of treatment. I didn't ask to talk to him, I figured that he must be pretty tired and was probably hooked up to all sorts of stuff and didn't want to talk. I can't even explain how much I wish I had asked to talk to him. I worried all evening.
I remember going to bed a little bit late, considering I had to work at 8 am the next morning. Shortly after I laid down in bed G woke up and I went into his room and nursed him. I sat in the dark and in my head I went over everything I was going to blog about the next day, telling my Dad how much I loved him and what he meant to me, etc...because I didn't tell him that kind of thing often enough. After I got G back to sleep I went to sleep too. My brother John texted me at 12:20 am but I didn't hear the text. It said, "1st, dont' call Mom she's hauling ass 2 hospital. they called mom & said Dad stopped breathing. Doing CPR now. I didn't even know he was in 4 more heart trouble". I found that text later. At about 12:30 my time my Mom called. I remember being started by my phone ringing and not even really noticing who was calling when I answered. I remember hearing Mom, crying. I couldn't make out what she was saying. I was trying to console her until I heard the words "your dad" and "dead." It took me a second and I said, "Did you just say my Dad is dead?" And through her sobs she said yes. For a brief second I tried to tell her I was sorry, but then I lost it. I dropped my phone and broke down.
"NOT MY DAD! NOT MY DAD!" was all I could cry, over and over. Ed picked up my phone and I don't know what he told my Mom, other than that we would be on our way up as soon as we could be. "NOT MY DAD! MY DAD CAN'T BE DEAD!" was all I remember. I punched everything around me while crying and screaming. Poor Ed tried to hold me, to comfort me. But it hurt so so bad. He told me, "Let's get packed and get going." I made a few very teary phone calls, one to Dad's work and then one to ISP, trying to find my friend Mary. Trisha was there and she talked to me and she later called Mary and she and Mary went to my Mom's house and stayed with her until Sarah got home from Moscow. What an amazing support system.
Ed and I threw a bunch of stuff together, made the decisions to not take the dogs, and then woke up G and hit the road. We were on the road by 3 am. I fielded phone call after phone call on the drive up and dealt with a very cranky little boy who normally travels well. We got into CDA at about 10:30 am. We got to the house and I hugged my Mom and my sister and we cried a little, then family started showing up. I sat down with Mom and we made some quick decisions on a funeral home and such and I got on the phone and made arrangements for Yates Funeral Home to pick up Dad's body from the morgue. I hate that word...morgue. After taking care of that and setting up an appointment for Mom and I to visit the funeral home director the next day, I got started on another issue.
I contacted Lake City Ford because Dad had bought his 2009 Ford F150 Thursday evening. We were all under the understanding that a person had 72 hours to basically give back the vehicle and get out of the deal, and since we were within that 72 hours still on Sunday, I called the dealership. The person that I spoke with flat out told me that he remembered my Dad and that he was sorry to hear he had died, but that they weren't going to be taking the truck back. He told me that the 72 hour rule is a myth and it doesn't really exist. We came to find out, later that the "72 hour rule" actually protects Lake City Ford, not a buyer. It means that Lake City Ford can request to have the vehicle back if the buyer can't provide financing within 72 hours. Since my Dad had made a $4000 down payment (he cashed in his PERSI Choice) and Numerica had already paid for the truck, there was no going back on the deal. Lake City had their money, and that's all that mattered to them. Numerica gave Mom the option of a voluntary repossession - which would have lost her Dad's $4000 down payment and it would have ruined her credit. Someone suggested that we have Rocky Watson, the sheriff of Kootenai County, talk to Tom Addis, the owner of Lake City Ford. Rocky never did that and Addis would not talk to me when I went into the dealership more than once that week. The media wasn't interested in the story (I thought some bad press might put some pressure on Lake City Ford) as it dealt with something contractual.
On Sunday, with a house full of family members and all the arrangements made that could be made, I stepped outside for a minute to breathe, and cry. I was crying and asking myself, "WHY???" when I heard a rustling in Dad's gigantic Japanese maple tree. I looked at the tree and saw the leaves rustling like crazy, but there was no wind. I even did the ol' lick the finger wind test check. No wind. Still crying I walked over to the tree and looked up in it's branches. Not a bird to be seen. I leaned against the tree and hugged myself, wishing that I would wake up from this terrible dream. The rustling continued and even got louder. Then it hit me. I looked up at the sky, stopped crying, and said, "I know Dad, I know. I'm going to miss you so much." I smiled and the rustling stopped.
Mom and I met with the funeral director and we had some more decisions to make. Dad had never really told Mom what he wanted as far as a funeral or entombment, etc...but he did say that he wanted to be buried by his Dad in Libby. Mom decided that since she knew she wanted to be creamated, that we would have Dad cremated. The fee's involved in death are un-freakin-believable. There are refrigeration fees, a $155 fee for the cardboard box they put Dad's body in, $55 for the obituary, etc...when I got back to Ed I told him that we needed to start saving for his death now. Morbid, but ridiculously true.
My next task was to figure out a date and location for a memorial service. I figured we'd have a large turnout of mourners, so we'd need a bigger church. It would have to be in a church, Dad would have had it no other way. I felt guilty not having his funeral at Trinity Lutheran, the church he(we) attended for as long as I can remember. But there was no way there would be enough room. With some help I found Lake City Community Church, right across from the high school on Ramsey Road. It was BEAUTIFUL. I think Dad would have liked it. The pastor at Dad's church was really quite new so we decided that we'd just ask one of the pastors at Lake City to conduct the service. We were lucky enough to get to have Pastor Rodney Wright agree to work wtih us. What a great guy. In the first hour I spent with him, I felt very comfortable in our decision, I know Dad would have enjoyed him as much as I did. He told us that "death is the price we pay for getting to love someone."
The prices at the funeral home kind of bothered me. The programs they hand out with Dad's information on them were all pretty generic and expensive. So I told Mom we'd make them. The slideshow of pictures was $300 for 45 pictures, and $45 EACH PICTURE thereafter. I had never made a slideshow before but I decided that it was time to learn how to do that. I knew we'd have plenty of photos so it would be hard to limit it to just 45 pictures. Dad used to hear the Mike & the Mechanics song "The Living Years" and he told all us kids, "I want you to play this at my funeral." So there was no doubt that we would play it for him. As a family we sat down and went through some boxes of pictures, finding some of our favorites. Josiah scanned them all for me and I got to work on the slideshow. I realized it was a little bit out of my league, so I called in reinforcements. A lady named Kelly that I went to school (like elementary through high school) with, who ended up working with Dad at Kootenai County used a woman to make a slideshow for her wedding a few months earlier, so she put me in touch with that woman. I handed over the CD of pictures and the music that we wanted and trusted the she'd make it all work. She did. Wonderfully. I went back to working on the programs.
We also had to set up a graveside service, preferably just for close friends and family, in Libby on Saturday. Thankfully I was able to call my uncle Bruce (my Dad's younger brother) and tell him what we wanted to have done. He made the majority of the arrangements in Libby for us, including a plot, the pastor, and a lovely little luncheon served by the church ladies after we buried Dad's remains.
Finally by Thursday at about 10 pm I was able to sit down and write down what I wanted to say at the funeral the next day. I fell asleep instead and ended up having to wing it. When Friday morning at 10 am rolled around, we were ready to honor Dad. I hope we did well. There were a couple of hundred people in attendance, a large amount of them being uniformed law enforcement and other emergency medical services. Ed read Dad's eulogy, and for someone who is not a public speaker, he did an amazing job. I was so so so proud of him. Coeur d'Alene Police Chief Wayne Longo spoke, then Jackie Woods (Dad's best friend since childhood is Jackie's husband Chuck), and then Dad's baby sister Kris spoke and read something from Dad's big brother Bob. We played the slideshow, which made people cry but more importantly made them laugh. Then John spoke, Josiah spoke, and I spoke with Sarah by my side. We shared memories and talked about what an amazing person Dad was, and how this had all happened much too soon. It was over before I knew it and I found myself in the foyer greeting people that I had not seen for years. I hate that that's how we reconnected, but it was nice to see people paying respects to the greatest man I have ever known.
Mom decided she wanted to go to Libby that day. She packed her bag and took the urn with Dad's remains and set it on the passenger seat of Dad's new truck. She took him on their final road trip together in his new truck that he never got to truly enjoy. I think it was really good for her to get some alone time.
Saturday morning we met at the gravesite and said our final goodbyes. We all went to the church that Dad grew up in and the church ladies had put together a lunch for us all. I found out later that after we all left my uncle Bruce buried Dad's urn. Him and my Dad were very close, and as little boys they would play trucks and pretend to be the owners of "Broden Excavating," which just happens to be the name of my uncle Bruce's side business now. We took plenty of pictures and we got to catch up with so many relatives, distant and immediate. I remember smiling and thinking, "Dad would have loved to be here talking to his cousins, his aunt Ruth, etc...)."
I can't believe my Dad is dead. It hurt so much to lose him, but I know my Dad would have loved to have been there with so many of his family members and friends gathered. My Dad led a good life and he was loved by so many people.
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