Asked and Answered

http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/parenting/end-child-nagging-negotiating-with-just-three-simple-words/

Step One: Ask, “Have you ever heard of ‘Asked and Answered’?” (He’ll probably say no.)

Step Two: Ask, “Did you ask me a question about digging a hole?” (He’ll say yes.)

Step Three: Ask, “Did I answer it?” (He’ll probably say, “Yes, but, I really ….”)

Step Four: Ask, “Do I look like the kind of mom/dad/teacher who will change her/his mind if you ask me the same thing over and over?” (Chances are Daniel will walk away, maybe with a frustrated grunt, and engage in something else.)

Step Five: If he asks again, simply say, “Asked and Answered.” (No other words are necessary!) Once this technique has been established, these are the only words you should need to say to address nagging questions.

Is that a face that could nag?  Oh you betcha it is!  But really, great idea that I will be implementing.  And expecting to have come back to bite me in the arse when he starts to say it back to me for nagging him.  

A Heron education downriver

We took the day and drove down the river so E could look at a sled deck with a for sale sign in a field alongside the highway.  We're always up for a drive down the river as there's always plenty to explore.  The man we met with (who was selling the deck) was a very nice gentleman.  While E was bullshitting with him I noticed something large fly into a tree and grabbed a pair of binoculars.  The man said, "Oh you saw one of the herons did you?"  Then he proceeded to tell us all about how up by his pond there's an entire rookery of herons.  He invited us in for a closer look so of course we went!  We got to approach the nests of what is actually a pretty big bird and we could even see the babies (more like teenagers already).

<a href="http://s139.photobucket.com/user/mommabert/story/80747" target="_blank"><img src="http://i139.photobucket.com/albums/q312/mommabert/story/80747/thumb/large.png" border="0" alt="5/29/13 drive down the river"/></a>

We had lunch in the big town of Ka***h, at the Mexican restaurant we'd heard good things about.  People lie.

Since we were near a grocery store I had E stop so I could pick up some milk and a few other things.  Ka***h is a small town.  Strange and small.  While at the checkout talking to the cashier about postcard stamps a man pressed up against me from behind and said in my ear, "Don't believe a thing he says, he's a liar and a thief."  Well.  I whirled around (as fast as I could considering he had me pinned against the debit card machine) to see a man at least twice my age with a big ol' pot belly and white hair.  "Oh yeah?" I asked, "And what makes him a liar?"  The men obviously knew each other so I felt it was a safe line of questioning.  He replied, "He served in the Navy."  I informed him politely that I married a Navy man and then I said, "Your arrogance tells me you've got a little jarhead in you huh?"

Well of course being a member of the USMC the man was pleased as punch to have that recognized and he was equally pleased that someone had referred to him as little.  The cashier was laughing so hard because I had guessed correctly and insulted the man at the same time that he started to cough/choke.  Score one for me.

I walked out of the grocery store feeling slightly triumphant, a little molested and slightly saddened that 70+ year old men seem to be the only ones left that flirt with me anymore.  And I'm pretty sure I heard some banjo music playing behind me.

We got home in time for a late dinner and went to bed early.

http://www.u-createcrafts.com/2013/05/diy-water-blob-tips-and-tricks.html

How cool is that?  I think I found a project for E, though I'm not sure with our piddle water pressure it's feasible.

melancholy

G and I took a short drive and then a hike up Beaver Ridge this afternoon.  As we sat on a little outcropping surveying the mountains and trees G sighed and said, "The world is so big.  And I'm so little.  I'm all alone."

It was strange as I'd been quiet most of the day because I was kind of feeling that way myself.  Out in the middle of nowhere without any friends or family close by to say, "Hey, want to go get some coffee?"  

I put my arm around him and said, "As long as I'm breathing I promise you that I'll never let you be alone if you don't want to be."  His sweet little voice sighed and said, "I love you mommy, you're my best pal."  I didn't say anything, mostly because there wasn't anything that needed to be said.

I'm so lucky to have him.

 

G the Nature Boy

Dear Complete Strangers That We Snuck Up On (we were practicing our stalking and quiet walking) At The Slough Across The Highway:

I apologize for my heathen of a child who not only once but twice stripped himself buck naked to enjoy all the cleansing that the nasty, not intended for humans, full of slimy stuff water has to offer...right in your full view when you were trying to watch the same moose that we had been stalking. I realize that your older son and daughter were giggling at the nature boy because they were likely nervous about his lack of modesty. Thank you for being gracious enough to laugh with me and say, "Kids will be kids." I hope that if we come across you again I will be able to control my child and keep him clothed.

Sincerely,
The Weird Lady Who Came Out of Nowhere And Nearly Made You Pee Yourself.

p.s. He enjoyed his walk down the highway all the way home wearing only his t-shirt (since that was the only thing dry). He likes to get a little sun on his cheeks.  His butt cheeks that is.  And by sun I mean setting sun since it was 8:00 at night.

p.p.s. Don't worry, his nakedness wasn't anything that moose has not seen before. She knows him well.

p.p.p.s. Thank you for the lovely bookmarks reciting 1 Timothy 2:15 and Genesis 1:31, 2:2. We do live in God's country but we most certainly will need to be saved from our sins.

p.p.p.p.s Please be advised that in less than 30 minutes time we had watched a moose submerge it's entire head to drink water (like dinosaurs do according to G), practiced making duck noises and getting responses from our fowl friends and then nearly got divebombed by a bald eagle.  But YOU guys were the oddity in the woods to us.  We see animals every day...other people, not so much.

G and I had the opportunity to have a nice chat during the walk home about how not only is it not okay to approach strangers without mommy and/or daddy it is even less of a good idea to get completely naked in front of them.  Which of course led to a discussion about who it is okay to get naked in front of (somehow I made the list).   And who he should let pinch his naked fanny.

And for your viewing pleasure, The Nature Boy just being himself...

He found two lemons in the fridge and came to show me, "Look mommy, I have boobs like you!"  If only mine were the size of lemons, they might have some perk left in them!

I asked him to put the lemons back in the fridge so he put on my running shoes and shoved the lemons down his shirt sleeves from the shoulder and came back to me and said, "Look mommy I have big muscles like you."

Yes, that's him kissing his muscle and telling me, "Check out these guns, baby!"

G and his father were outside playing and G came running inside yelling, "Ow!  OW!  Mommy I'm in pain, so much pain!"  "What's wrong, son?"  "Look at my legs, I just got a terrible sunburn."  Too bad that's pink sidewalk chalk.

And I can't not share this, even if it appears he's flipping you off.  He used the same pink sidewalk chalk as lipstick.  Because he's ridiculously rad like that.  And we're still working on the using his pointer finger to point to things instead of his middle finger so it's not what you're thinking.  

allergic reaction

I'm so thankful for a husband who is smart about medical things.  Because as informed as I try to be, I'm stupid.

I was sitting at home, working and I just kept getting warmer and warmer.  I turned on the air conditioning and that helped for a little while but then I started to notice that I had the sensation of heat rising from my chest up my neck into my face and all over my scalp.  Like a funky hot flash.  I went to the bathroom and found that I resembled Barney, the big purple dinosaur.  No really, my face wasn't just red but a dark maroon red that almost looked like it was going to turn purple.  That's when I noticed that I'd been scratching my arms.  I pulled up my sleeves to find more dark red skin.  My chest, same thing, my back, more.

I had E come home and he took one look at me and said, "What did you eat?  You're having an allergic reaction to something.  Take some Benedryl NOW."  He stayed home to make sure that my airway didn't start to swell closed (I told him to use one of G's funky straws and give me a trach if needed).  I love that he's all MacGuyver-ish like that.

It started to subside and I fell asleep (dang Benedryl) so E took the afternoon off from work.

So what caused a reaction like that?  Wouldn't it have to be something I ingested?  It was literally from my bra strap up onto my scalp.  And hot and burning.  I am on a new antibiotic but that was like day # 3 on it.  I hadn't eaten anything new and it didn't happen at all today when I took the antibiotic.  I was just about to start my workout, maybe I'm allergic to working out?  That'd be a good excuse, right?  E said it's because I actually unloaded the dishwasher and that gave me the reaction because I never do that.  Asshat.

Regardless, creepy feeling, I hope it doesn't happen again but since I don't know what it was from it very well could I suppose.

This was as it was just starting.  I'm pale.

A taste of G's photography...

G snuck off with my little point and shoot camera.  I found these on the SD card tonight when looking for a picture.  So enjoy and I will try and interpret.

 G's art...a chair with a plastic chocolate covered raisin bucket on its leg.

 His sippy.  Not bottle.  He'll freak if you call it a bottle.  It's going to disappear in about two weeks, never to return.  It's time to be done with the sippy.

 G's vantage point while watching TV.

 G's feet.  In my shoes.

 The bird feeder on the front porch.

 G's favorite, the firepit!

 Mm, yes, more firepit.

 The view of G's domain, so green and lush and...WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING ON THE PORCH TO THE LEFT?
I threw that tank and those sweatpants in the Goodwill pile.  Dang.

 More of G's feet.

 He would have been sitting on the front porch.

 Huh, look at that.  G's foot again.

 G's playland!  We didn't have the trampoline set back up yet but it's next to the swingset now.

 G looking up into the big blue sky :)

 G and Daddy in the trailer.

 G and I spent the night in the trailer, watching movies.  Behind my head is G's bunkbed and above my head is the TV.

 Across the table from me is G who would be watching the TV above my head except he was also playing with the Kindle.

 I love it when he gives me attitude.

Daddy and G organized the garage.  Yes, that does happen to be the same Happy Birthday banner that was in that very spot for G's 3rd birthday.

Hm, he ends it with his shoes.  I never woulda guessed.

18 more sleeps!

Hm.
http://frugalfun4boys.com/2013/05/13/build-a-chain-reaction-with-popsicle-or-craft-sticks/
Uncle Mongo has a big house.
And access to a large reserve of "craft sticks" or tongue depressors.  I won't say how, I'll just say that I know.

Every morning the first thing G wants to know is how many more sleeps until we go to Uncle Mongo's house.  Yesterday he stole lemons out of the fridge and put them partially down his shirt sleeves to form muscles. He told me, "Okay, I'm ready to go to Uncle Mongo's house now, I have big muscles."  I didn't know this was a prerequisite but okay.  I'd really like to tell him that a gas card would be more useful to getting us there but I didn't to burst his very muscular bubble.

I asked him why he was so excited to go to Uncle Mongo's house and he told me because there he could relax and play.  In my mind relax and play are two different things but in G's mind I guess they're not.  Maybe he's just excited because he will be away from home.  He likes traveling, he always has.  I'm grateful for that.

Max out of pocket was met with the last visit!

ER trip again.
For me.
Incredibly crippling pelvic pain/cramping.
Thankfully no giant cysts found this time.
Or alien life forms.
Or a baby like G said was in there.

A 1.5cm cyst, yes.
A little torsion on the ovary that I have left?  Sure.
Appendicitis?  Nope.

So they diagnosed it as PID.
After putting me through a pelvic exam, catheter for a clean catch, pelvic ultrasound and finally CT scan complete with "partial" enema.  If I'd known it involved an enema I would have declined, seriously.  That was my first one ever and I didn't know about it until just before they put me in that damn tube so I couldn't even make a clumsy getaway!

Does anyone ever listen to me?
My mom had a hysterectomy because of very bad endometriosis.  Why will no doctor even discuss endo with me?  Every time I go in for issues they find a cyst and that's the end of any discussion, it must be the cyst. Who do I have to talk to around here who is willing to look for endo and help me the frig out?

I'm about to rip my entire reproductive system out of my body with my bare hands.  When the pain is so strong that I vomit, so strong that I can't walk upright, so strong that the highest dose of hydrocodone won't even take the edge off there is a problem.  And I'm not going to keep doing this every 28(ish) days.  It's been a year of this hell and I want it to stop.

I did discover that Toridol (sp?) is lovely when injected into the muscle of the hip.  Except that it stings like a mofo for quite awhile afterwards.  I also discovered that having a male nurse call me baby girl and sugar and baby is a little comforting.

Is he that far off? I don't think so...

Robertson: Don't blame men for cheating

May 17, 2013 7:14 a.m.

 

Pat Robertson handed out more of his unique brand of advice recently when he told the wife of a cheating husband to get over the infidelity and start doing more on her end to ensure he doesn't "want to wander."

The televangelist told the woman, whose letter he read on Wednesday's episode of "The 700 Club," to do a better job of making her home "more enticing" so that her husband won't cheat on her, ABC15 reported.

The woman, who called herself Ivy, said she was having trouble forgiving her husband. Robertson told her to "stop talking about the cheating" because men have "a tendency to wander a little bit."

Robertson said it wasn't her husband's fault for cheating because modern society is filled with so many temptations like Internet pornography and magazines full of "salacious" pictures.

He told Ivy to remind herself why she married her husband and fall in love with him all over again. He said that as long as he provides her with a home, food and clothes and is nice to her and the children, she should forgive him.

Robertson added that unkempt and stubborn women are chief antagonists to happy marriages.

"You always have to keep that spark of love alive," he said. "It isn't something to just lie there [and think], 'Well, I'm married to him, so he's got to take me slatternly-looking.' You have to fix yourself up, look pretty, look alert."

Scripps Only Content 2013

http://kmgh.m0bl.net/w/news-watercooler/story/91706186/

Cheating when you're married or in a committed relationship is never okay.  Let me repeat that, CHEATING IS NEVER OKAY.  So if you read that Pat Robertson is saying it's okay for a man to cheat then we read the article a little bit differently.  A couple of my mommy friends are going ape shit over his statements but I basically agree with him.

We should have to "work" to keep our men.  They make plenty of commitments to us related to taking care of us, giving us a good life, etc.  Yes we make the same commitments them.  But part of our commitments (for both sexes) should be to continue to work on and maintain or improve...our bodies...our homes...our lifestyle...our minds...who we are as a person, our sex life, etc.  That's the responsibility of both parties in the relationship even though most of the time the women carry the load.  Yep, I said it.

It IS her husband's fault for cheating and she should NOT forgive him for it until her terms for forgiveness are met.  BUT I do agree that the society we live in today makes it awfully hard for people (men and women) to not be bombarded by sex and lies, etc.  Here's the thing though...good people rise above that, even when it's hard, even when temptation is there.  How about Mr. Robertson says something like, "If he takes ownership that he screwed up...BIG TIME...then you can work towards forgiveness."  Just because someone throws a Hustler at a man doesn't mean he has to read it and jerk off to it.  He screwed up, he needs to own up at the very, very least.  He doesn't get to blame it on society, he is responsible for his actions and choices, societal influence or not

"Robertson added that unkempt and stubborn women are chief antagonists to happy marriages."  I know in my marriage that is true.  When I have been unhappy I have gained weight, dressed like a slob, slacked on housekeeping duties, etc.  And stubborn?  Uh yeah.  How about contemplating divorce because your husband hasn't scrubbed a toilet in like...three years?  And then not scrubbing said toilet and letting it get DISGUSTING to prove a point.  How is that for stubborn?  But husbands do that too.  Husbands have to take care of how they look, how they smell (can I get an amen?), their conversational abilities, etc.  It's not just a wife's job.  I'm guessing Mr. Robertson is only thinking of his generation where the wife stayed home and the husband worked outside the home.

Yes, I realize that Robertson is directing this at women, saying women have to do these things but without being able to ask him if he meant to NOT address men I'm reading it as a general.

With all of that being said, I do it for me too, not just for him.  I take care of me so I will feel better about myself.  I take care of me because when he's pleased with me it makes me happy.  I doll up so that I will feel beautiful but then he'll justify my personal feeling of beauty because he will tell me that he thinks I'm beautiful.  If I didn't have him, I'd still do these things for myself but it's nice to have someone that I love and trust tell me that I'm beautiful.    

Mother's Day 2013 is my birthday!

Happy Birthday and Happy Mother's day to me!

I always said I didn't want to have children.  Yes, it's totally true!

No way was I cut out to be a mother.  I may have been good with children but that was just because I grew up with younger siblings and a lot of younger cousins so I kind of had to be good with kids!  But I didn't want to be wholly responsible for someone else. No way, that's scary stuff.

Then I met E.  And then I married him. One day he said, "You would be the best mommy, let's have a baby."  Say WHAT?

Uh, yikes. Little did we know it would take 22 months of heartbreaking struggle + nine months of anxious trepidation before this little miracle made us a trio instead of a duo.

So on Mother's Day I am incredibly thankful for this little boy who gave my life purpose.  And I'm also grateful to the man who saw a spark in my heart for motherhood and was willing to take this journey by my side.

My two guys spoiled me, as usual, for my holiday.  When G woke me up excitedly this morning with a, "Mommy it's time to wake up, it's your birthday!" I knew the day would start well.  When I got out of bed they sang me happy birthday which just made me smile because G doesn't like to sing and he especially hates it when someone sings happy birthday to anyone.  For real, he freaks out and tries to make that person stop singing.  He's kind of weird.  They took me to breakfast at the Lodge and I had chicken fried steak because I've been very well behaved in the eating department.  I got all sorts of practical gifts and one surprise was a super cute summer dress that they bought me.  I'm not a big dress wearer but I love this.  I love it even more because I need to go exchange it for a smaller size.  Bwahahahahahaha, I'm that big of a dork.

I did have to spend most of my day working but that's my own fault.  I didn't plan my jobs very well and have to bust my booty to meet my deadlines.  G & E don't seem to mind, since E took the day off anyway they have spent all day outside in the sunshine.  I just take breaks to go visit them and pick up some Vitamin D.

They're making me dinner, I can smell that someone has fired up the BBQ which means that I need to check the baked potatoes and wash the broccoli.  Perfect day!

p.s. when I read this article I totally thought of myself.  Yeah, I'm that confident in his awesomeness.