I miss you, Dad

Today I taught myself how to use PowerPoint to make a slideshow and then convert the slideshow to a wmv file.  Yay me!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3kpy3CpvF0
or here if that link doesn't work for you: https://www.dropbox.com/s/ijr6zoagot96fvo/dad.wmv?m

When I was younger my this Mike & The Mechanics song (The Living Years) was one of my dad's favorites.  He'd crank up the dial and jam out when it came on the radio which is saying something considering he drove a 1978 Ford pickup.  He used to tell me, "Play this song at my funeral."  I'd scoff and say, "Whatever, Dad."  After I grew up and moved away I'd talk to Dad online and we frequently shared music with each other (back before Napster got in trouble and started charging).  The MercyMe song (I Can Only Imagine) was one of his favorites and he once told me, "Play this one at my funeral too."  "Sure okay, Dad, whatever.  You're going to live to be a crotchety old and mean man who scares little kids."  Because, you see, in my mind my dad could never, ever die.

When he died suddenly at age 53, exactly four years ago today I had forgotten about the MercyMe song but the other one had been imprinted in my mind from a much younger age.  So when it came time to make a slideshow for Dad's funeral I went with the Mike & The Mechanics song and then chose to put the Faith Hill song, "There You'll Be," in there to round it out.  Oops.

Since I'd left my home in the middle of the night to rush back to my childhood home 8.5 hours away I didn't have any of my computers with me and therefore didn't have access to many older pictures.  We pulled together what we could in a few days and then a woman helped us with putting it in the PP format and setting it to music.  It was lovely at his funeral but it's been bothering me since then that there were so many pictures missing.  So I decided to kind of remake the whole slideshow and therefore needed to figure out how to use PowerPoint to do that.  There weren't many pictures of my dad with my younger siblings in the slideshow and that bothered me and there were a lot more pictures of Dad as a kid that I knew existed.  Well you can see them now.  I added about 60 pictures to the first 90 from the first slideshow and was able to add the MercyMe song after doing that.  The video is almost 14 minutes long but it is worth watching.  Listen to the words and you'll understand the choices.

Working on this was cathartic.  I cried the first few times of hearing the songs but then I had to listen to them over and over and watch it over and over to get timings and transitions and all that jazz just right.  I'm all Mike & The Mechanics'd out.

Benign, I like that word.

The mass is benign.  Best news ever, right!?!

Holy crikey I'm in some pain.

The air trapped in my chest and shoulders is just cruel.  I would think that one of the three incisions in my abdomen would be the most painful but those are easy compared to this trapped air thing.  I feel like I've been beaten and kicked repeatedly by big men wearing steel toed boots.  Ow.

Oh and oddly enough, the mass was in the left ovary, not the right.  That's how much things were screwed up in there, they couldn't tell the left from the right.  But now I'm only missing my left ovary and Fallopian, nothing more.  Phew!  The doctor told E that it was the sort of tumor that had to come out.  Do people really leave them in there?

We were mildly shocked to find out that I didn't have to spend even one night in the hospital.  If I had "needed" a pain medication stronger than hydrocodone I would have had to stay in the hospital but once I found that out I decided that hydrocodone would have to do.  I had a little bit of a hard time coming out of the anesthesia   I could hear everyone talking about me but I couldn't open my eyes enough to tell them all to shut up.  It was almost two hours after the surgery before I could talk and open my eyes enough to warrant them letting my husband in.  After a few more hours and after I showed them that I could eat food they let me go!  We made a stop at the grocery store for a few things (almond poppyseed glazed bundt cake, anyone?) and then went home.  I was home and in bed by 9 pm that same night.  Awesome, right?

So far E has been a dream care taker.  He rarely lets me out of bed.  He wakes up with me when the pain wakes me up at night and he rubs my back and shoulders to try and help me get back to sleep.  He wakes up slightly and asks sleepily, "What do you need, baby?" when I wake up to use the bathroom.  And he's taken care of both G and the household duties.  I've gained weight just sitting around in bed because he won't stop feeding me.  He's the first to remind me that it's time to take my pain meds.  Not that I'm complaining.  Well, my jeans will be complaining if the bruising and swelling in my belly ever goes down so I can zip them up!

So all in all, we have the best possible outcome.  Of course I'd rather not have had to have surgery but since no one asked me about that, there ya are.

Sunday, round #2

I sent him into his class and told the teacher I'd be out in the hallway if she needed me or my help.  Yep, he got to spend the hour without me.  I did hear from the hallway that the poor teacher had to remind him that he needed to get out of something and come sit down.  Several times.  He doesn't sit down very well.  I'm not sure that the poor girl (who is like 20 if that) understands that a 4 year old boy will never sit and listen to her tell a story from the bible for more than a few minutes.  Or am I being too lenient on said boy?  Should he be able to sit for that long without having something to do?  Anyway, there were two other little boys in class, 5 & 6 years old so I'm sure that it wasn't easy for her to keep the three of them wrangled.  The teacher told me that G did really well and Sunday School teachers aren't allowed to lie, right?

This is a good thing because I had bribed him with the Kindle Fire if he was a good boy for his Sunday School teacher.  So he got to play on the Fire (wearing headphones of course) during the whole church service.  It was nice for me because I got to listen and participate and lift up my voice in praise and thanks.  He was quiet for the majority of the service thanks to the Fire.  I don't know what parents did before electronics that occupy kids like that.  It makes me feel lazy as a parent but he was happy and I was happy.  It was nice to get through a church service not feeling stressed out about keeping him under control and quiet.

When I'd picked up G from Sunday School he handed me a card that he had colored for me.  "Here mommy, because you are sick.  I hope you feel better."  How appropriately timed, yes?

I was kind of taken aback at the timing of the message and the teacher explained to me that they'd learned about the woman who was sick who Jesus put his hands on her and healed her.  The lesson was that God's love is healing.  So their activity was to make get well cards for someone they know who is sick.

Well played, God.  I got your message loud and clear!