a little bit about what's here
Welcome to my brains dump station. Please don't feel obligated to read it but if you are here it's because you expressed an interest in being here or I just happen to think you're rad and want to include you in our life. Feel free to comment so that I know if anyone is reading! Not that it would stop me from blogging if no one did read, it's just nice to know who is around every once in awhile! I'll try to hit spell check before I post but I make no guarantee's! It's my blog and therefore you will find that I don't censor myself very often, especially when it comes to swear words (I'm working on it). If you don't like what I have to say, feel free to not read. I'm okay with that.
I love being a work from home mom to my one and only child, G. He is a dream that I never thought would come true. It's my goal in my life to raise him to be thoughtful, witty, respectful, gentle, sincere, creative, determined, instinctive, charming, frank, truculent, faithful, reflective, happy, active, bright, ambitious, talented, productive, decisive, kind hearted, friendly, proud, sarcastic, calm, righteous, generous, protective, dynamic, silly, adaptable, brave, honorable, gregarious, funny, fearless, outgoing, magnanimous, confident, cultured, fair and just plain amazing. It's not too tall an order, it's my life's work.
I love being a work from home mom to my one and only child, G. He is a dream that I never thought would come true. It's my goal in my life to raise him to be thoughtful, witty, respectful, gentle, sincere, creative, determined, instinctive, charming, frank, truculent, faithful, reflective, happy, active, bright, ambitious, talented, productive, decisive, kind hearted, friendly, proud, sarcastic, calm, righteous, generous, protective, dynamic, silly, adaptable, brave, honorable, gregarious, funny, fearless, outgoing, magnanimous, confident, cultured, fair and just plain amazing. It's not too tall an order, it's my life's work.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Those poor gay Chinamen!
updated 9:25 a.m. PT, Fri., Jan. 15, 2010
BEIJING - Police shut down what would have been China's first gay pageant on Friday an hour before it was set to begin, highlighting the enduring sensitivity surrounding homosexuality and the struggle by gays to find mainstream acceptance.
Organizers said they were not surprised when eight police officers turned up at the upscale club in central Beijing where the pageant, featuring a fashion show and a host in drag, was set to take place.
"They said the content, meaning homosexuality, there's nothing wrong with that, but you did not do things according to procedures," Ben Zhang said. Police told him he needed official approval for events that included performances, in this case a stage show.
"I kind of saw that coming," Zhang said.
Chinese police frequently cite procedural reasons for closing down gatherings that are deemed to be politically sensitive. Though the pageant did not have any overt political agenda, similar events in the past — such as a parade during the Shanghai Pride Festival last year — have been blocked by authorities.
"It totally has to do with moral standards and culture," said contestant Emilio Liu, 26. "If most people can't accept it, then the government won't let it happen."
Zhang had said he hoped the pageant would raise awareness of homosexuals in a country where gays are frequently discriminated against and ostracized. Eight men were competing for the title and a spot in the Worldwide Mr. Gay pageant, to be held next month in Oslo, Norway.
The Mr. Gay China pageant had attracted a great deal of press attention and even the normally staid state-run media reported on the event this week. Tickets, which cost 100 yuan (US$14.60) and 150 yuan (US$22.00), sold out three days ago.
"I feel really sad. This was going to be a very good event to show a positive image of gay people," said Wei Xiaogang, a pageant judge and host of Queer Comrades, a popular Internet talk show on gay issues.
Guests began trickling in after Zhang's announcement to the 50-plus journalists at the club. Some guests hugged each other after learning the show would not be taking place after all, while suit-clad club staff members began stacking up the chairs. Still, the mood was not entirely somber.
"I'm a bit disappointed but I can also relax now. I don't have to be on a diet anymore," Liu joked.
Contestant Simon Wang, who had planned to perform a self-choreographed dance to Lady Gaga's "LoveGame," struck cheeky poses for the cameras, while wearing green trousers and black straps across his bare chest, topped with furry maroon shoulder pads.
Someone had scribbled on the black backdrop behind him: "The revolution has not succeeded, comrades need to work harder."
Comrade is the slang term for gays in China.
Organizers still planned to send a China representative to Oslo and will probably ask the pageant judges to choose someone from the contestants, organizer Ryan Dutcher said.
Gay rights in China have come a long way since the years just after the 1949 communist revolution when homosexuality was considered a disease from the decadent West and feudal societies, and gay people were persecuted. Sodomy was decriminalized in 1997, and homosexuality was finally removed from the official list of mental disorders in 2001.
But tellingly, most of the contestants interviewed asked The Associated Press to use their English names instead of Chinese names, to better protect their identities at home. While treatment of gays has improved in recent years, many are still reticent to draw attention to their homosexuality, particularly in the workplace.
Chinese authorities had appeared to be more open toward addressing gay issues in recent months. The country's first gay pride festival was held in Shanghai, the nation's commercial capital, last June. That month also featured the five-day Beijing Queer Film Festival — an event that police blocked in 2001 and 2005.
China is officially atheistic, and without religious reasons for opposing homosexuality, attitudes are slowly shifting among city dwellers from one of intolerance to indifference. Gays living in big cities, like nearly all the men participating in the pageant, said their biggest challenge was dealing with parents and deeply ingrained expectations for them to get married and have children.
But Liu said he thought it would be 10 years before anyone can successfully organize a gay pageant in China.
"Cultural change needs time, society isn't going to change tomorrow," he said.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/34876045/ns/today-today_fashion_and_beauty/?GT1=43001
BEIJING - Police shut down what would have been China's first gay pageant on Friday an hour before it was set to begin, highlighting the enduring sensitivity surrounding homosexuality and the struggle by gays to find mainstream acceptance.
Organizers said they were not surprised when eight police officers turned up at the upscale club in central Beijing where the pageant, featuring a fashion show and a host in drag, was set to take place.
"They said the content, meaning homosexuality, there's nothing wrong with that, but you did not do things according to procedures," Ben Zhang said. Police told him he needed official approval for events that included performances, in this case a stage show.
"I kind of saw that coming," Zhang said.
Chinese police frequently cite procedural reasons for closing down gatherings that are deemed to be politically sensitive. Though the pageant did not have any overt political agenda, similar events in the past — such as a parade during the Shanghai Pride Festival last year — have been blocked by authorities.
"It totally has to do with moral standards and culture," said contestant Emilio Liu, 26. "If most people can't accept it, then the government won't let it happen."
Zhang had said he hoped the pageant would raise awareness of homosexuals in a country where gays are frequently discriminated against and ostracized. Eight men were competing for the title and a spot in the Worldwide Mr. Gay pageant, to be held next month in Oslo, Norway.
The Mr. Gay China pageant had attracted a great deal of press attention and even the normally staid state-run media reported on the event this week. Tickets, which cost 100 yuan (US$14.60) and 150 yuan (US$22.00), sold out three days ago.
"I feel really sad. This was going to be a very good event to show a positive image of gay people," said Wei Xiaogang, a pageant judge and host of Queer Comrades, a popular Internet talk show on gay issues.
Guests began trickling in after Zhang's announcement to the 50-plus journalists at the club. Some guests hugged each other after learning the show would not be taking place after all, while suit-clad club staff members began stacking up the chairs. Still, the mood was not entirely somber.
"I'm a bit disappointed but I can also relax now. I don't have to be on a diet anymore," Liu joked.
Contestant Simon Wang, who had planned to perform a self-choreographed dance to Lady Gaga's "LoveGame," struck cheeky poses for the cameras, while wearing green trousers and black straps across his bare chest, topped with furry maroon shoulder pads.
Someone had scribbled on the black backdrop behind him: "The revolution has not succeeded, comrades need to work harder."
Comrade is the slang term for gays in China.
Organizers still planned to send a China representative to Oslo and will probably ask the pageant judges to choose someone from the contestants, organizer Ryan Dutcher said.
Gay rights in China have come a long way since the years just after the 1949 communist revolution when homosexuality was considered a disease from the decadent West and feudal societies, and gay people were persecuted. Sodomy was decriminalized in 1997, and homosexuality was finally removed from the official list of mental disorders in 2001.
But tellingly, most of the contestants interviewed asked The Associated Press to use their English names instead of Chinese names, to better protect their identities at home. While treatment of gays has improved in recent years, many are still reticent to draw attention to their homosexuality, particularly in the workplace.
Chinese authorities had appeared to be more open toward addressing gay issues in recent months. The country's first gay pride festival was held in Shanghai, the nation's commercial capital, last June. That month also featured the five-day Beijing Queer Film Festival — an event that police blocked in 2001 and 2005.
China is officially atheistic, and without religious reasons for opposing homosexuality, attitudes are slowly shifting among city dwellers from one of intolerance to indifference. Gays living in big cities, like nearly all the men participating in the pageant, said their biggest challenge was dealing with parents and deeply ingrained expectations for them to get married and have children.
But Liu said he thought it would be 10 years before anyone can successfully organize a gay pageant in China.
"Cultural change needs time, society isn't going to change tomorrow," he said.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/34876045/ns/today-today_fashion_and_beauty/?GT1=43001
I swear...
I will be on here to update in a few days. I went back to work from home doing law enforcement transcription and it's HARD! Even though I did it at PPD this stuff kicks my fanny. It is verbatim so that means ever little stutter, um, you know, uh, etc...has to be typed out. It's time consuming and tiring work but it brings in money. I am trying to work on the time management aspect of this working at home with a 19 month old thing - and it's not easy. Which is why I'm still awake at 12:36 am. G tries to be patient (well as patient as he is capable of) but he's really at a stage where he wants all of our attention all of the time. I'd type more but you know what? I'm tired of typing today and I want to go to bed. Maybe tomorrow, when I'm done with the 52 minute courtroom hearing transcription is done. Oh job.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Open season?
Another LEO killed in the line of duty? What the hell? While I maintain that I trust that Ed will come home after each shift, I worry for the wives and families of those LEO's that don't come home at the end of their shift.
http://www.policeone.com/officer-shootings/articles/1985923-Search-on-for-suspect-that-killed-Utah-deputy/
Search on for suspect that killed Utah deputyDeputy Josie Fox is the second female officer in Utah to be killed on duty
Deseret News
FILLMORE, Utah — A Millard County sheriff's deputy was shot and killed early Tuesday during a traffic stop — only the second female officer in Utah history to be killed in the line of duty.
Officers spent several hours searching for the suspected shooter — Roberto Miramontes Roman, 37 — in the Poplar Grove neighborhood of Salt Lake City Tuesday, but cleared the area about 1 p.m. after they were unable to locate him.
Earlier Tuesday, about 1 a.m., Millard County sheriff's deputy Josie Greathouse Fox and a sheriff's sergeant had spotted two suspicious vehicles about one mile east of Delta, where there had been a recent string of home burglaries and trailer thefts, said Millard County Sheriff Robert A. Dekker.
The sergeant planned to stop one of the vehicles and told Fox to stop the other vehicle. He told Fox to hold the vehicle, and he would arrive shortly.
Fox pulled over a Cadillac sedan on state Route 50. Shortly afterward, the sergeant arrived.
"He found deputy Fox laying in the road. The suspect vehicle was gone," Dekker said.
Fox, 37, still had her flashlight in her hand. Her gun was still in its holster. A single bullet had entered above her protective vest, just above her badge, he said.
She was pronounced dead at the scene.
"She was a great deputy," said the sheriff, who described Fox as a "Delta gal."
"She's done us a good job. She had the ability to talk to the youth in our community."
Fox leaves behind a husband and two children. She had been with the Millard County Sheriff's Office for more than five years. Her husband was out of town when he was informed about the shooting. He is an oil-field worker and was on his way home to Delta from Vernal late Tuesday morning.
"We're a small agency. We've lost a loved one and a close friend," Dekker said, adding that Fox was "nonjudgmental and liked by everybody."
Dekker said he believes his deputy was killed instantly.
"I think the shooting happened as soon as the stop was made, as soon as she made the approach," he said.
Following the shooting, the suspect reversed direction and apparently made contact with someone in Nephi, who met him there with an orange-colored Corvette, the sheriff said. The suspect is believed to have removed the rear license plate from the Cadillac and placed it on the Corvette. The Cadillac was located in Nephi and was being processed by Utah County sheriff's deputies.
The Corvette was located Tuesday morning near Franklin Elementary, at 1115 W. 300 South, and still had the Cadillac's plates, Dekker said.
After that vehicle was discovered in Salt Lake City, officers from several agencies closed off an area of Poplar Grove on 1000 West from 200 South to 400 South and on 300 South between 1000 West and 1150 West. Three SWAT teams were also in the area.
Residents were told to stay inside their homes.
Investigators were not certain the suspect was in the area, but went door to door asking questions.
Salt Lake police surrounded a shed and trailer near 500 South and 1050 West about 10 a.m. after receiving reports that the suspected shooter might be hiding inside. About 11:10 a.m., officers fired tear gas into the shed and a trailer. Three shots could be heard. No one was found inside, however.
Officers continued to surround a nearby house looking for Roman. After a search, however, police were unable to find him and left the neighborhood about 1 p.m. It was unclear whether Roman had ever been in the area Tuesday. Police said they found no evidence that he had been there.
Roman is described as Hispanic, 5 feet 7 inches tall, weighing 130 pounds, with brown hair and brown eyes. Police said he has several family members in the Poplar Grove area.
Police handcuffed and detained one man — reportedly an uncle of Roman — from a shed near 500 South and 1050 West. Police would not confirm the information, but there were some reports that he had told police Roman may have been in the shed with him. He was not arrested, however.
SWAT officers earlier searched the home of Andres Pedra near 400 South and 1100 West. He said police mistakenly believed that Roman's grandmother lived there.
"We said no, we had nothing to do with that," Pedra told the Deseret News.
SWAT teams searched the house anyway and found nothing. Pedra said he didn't mind the slight inconvenience. "It was fine," he said, noting that he understood the officers are trying to keep the community safe.
Investigators would not confirm some reports that Roman may be heavily armed with weapons, including an AK-47 assault rifle.
Police also identified a second "person of interest" in the case, Ruben Chavez Reyes, 36, and distributed his photo to the news media. Dekker said Reyes owns both the Cadillac and Corvette and is a friend of Roman.
Reyes is believed to have "information on possibly where our primary suspect is," said Department of Public Safety spokesman Jeff Nigbur. "We are investigating whether he may have either helped or assisted (Roman)."
Fox is the 128th Utah officer killed in the line of duty and only the second woman. The first female officer was Esther Todecheene, with the Navajo Department of Safety, who was killed June 8, 1998, after her car rolled when she lost control on a corner while responding to a call from another officer.
Roman's criminal history in Utah thus far has been largely drug-related. He pleaded guilty to a charge of distribution of a controlled substance, a class A misdemeanor, in 1992, and to charges of possession with the intent to distribute and use, and/or possession of drug paraphernalia and carrying a concealed dangerous weapon in 1997.
Roman was arrested four times in the past by the Millard County Sheriff's Office and had been deported at least once, but had come back to Utah, Dekker said.
When asked about his feelings on illegal immigration, the sheriff declined to comment specifically on this case, but said, "I think there's some thing that need to be fixed."
Dash cameras on Fox's patrol car and the sergeant's car hadn't been engaged.
Dekker said the last deputy killed in Millard County was Floyd Rose in 1922. Rose was a car salesman who was a volunteer deputy. He was shot while attempting to apprehend an inmate who had escaped from the jail. Rose, also, was killed in Delta.
Anyone who believes they have seen Roman or has any information related to him is asked to contact the Millard County Sheriff's Office at 435-743-5302 or Salt Lake police at 801-799-3000.
At Franklin Elementary, students were scheduled for a late start. Officers were in place to instruct parents about the school closure. A bus was also in the parking lot to allow students who arrived to stay warm until parents could pick them up. Nearby Parkview Elementary, 970 Emery Street (1170 West), was in a voluntary lockdown mode, said Salt Lake School District spokesman Jason Olsen. The exterior doors were locked, but students continued with their regular routines inside the building.
Officials at Guadalupe charter school, which is also closed, said night classes would be held Tuesday evening.
http://www.policeone.com/officer-shootings/articles/1985923-Search-on-for-suspect-that-killed-Utah-deputy/
Search on for suspect that killed Utah deputyDeputy Josie Fox is the second female officer in Utah to be killed on duty
Deseret News
FILLMORE, Utah — A Millard County sheriff's deputy was shot and killed early Tuesday during a traffic stop — only the second female officer in Utah history to be killed in the line of duty.
Officers spent several hours searching for the suspected shooter — Roberto Miramontes Roman, 37 — in the Poplar Grove neighborhood of Salt Lake City Tuesday, but cleared the area about 1 p.m. after they were unable to locate him.
Earlier Tuesday, about 1 a.m., Millard County sheriff's deputy Josie Greathouse Fox and a sheriff's sergeant had spotted two suspicious vehicles about one mile east of Delta, where there had been a recent string of home burglaries and trailer thefts, said Millard County Sheriff Robert A. Dekker.
The sergeant planned to stop one of the vehicles and told Fox to stop the other vehicle. He told Fox to hold the vehicle, and he would arrive shortly.
Fox pulled over a Cadillac sedan on state Route 50. Shortly afterward, the sergeant arrived.
"He found deputy Fox laying in the road. The suspect vehicle was gone," Dekker said.
Fox, 37, still had her flashlight in her hand. Her gun was still in its holster. A single bullet had entered above her protective vest, just above her badge, he said.
She was pronounced dead at the scene.
"She was a great deputy," said the sheriff, who described Fox as a "Delta gal."
"She's done us a good job. She had the ability to talk to the youth in our community."
Fox leaves behind a husband and two children. She had been with the Millard County Sheriff's Office for more than five years. Her husband was out of town when he was informed about the shooting. He is an oil-field worker and was on his way home to Delta from Vernal late Tuesday morning.
"We're a small agency. We've lost a loved one and a close friend," Dekker said, adding that Fox was "nonjudgmental and liked by everybody."
Dekker said he believes his deputy was killed instantly.
"I think the shooting happened as soon as the stop was made, as soon as she made the approach," he said.
Following the shooting, the suspect reversed direction and apparently made contact with someone in Nephi, who met him there with an orange-colored Corvette, the sheriff said. The suspect is believed to have removed the rear license plate from the Cadillac and placed it on the Corvette. The Cadillac was located in Nephi and was being processed by Utah County sheriff's deputies.
The Corvette was located Tuesday morning near Franklin Elementary, at 1115 W. 300 South, and still had the Cadillac's plates, Dekker said.
After that vehicle was discovered in Salt Lake City, officers from several agencies closed off an area of Poplar Grove on 1000 West from 200 South to 400 South and on 300 South between 1000 West and 1150 West. Three SWAT teams were also in the area.
Residents were told to stay inside their homes.
Investigators were not certain the suspect was in the area, but went door to door asking questions.
Salt Lake police surrounded a shed and trailer near 500 South and 1050 West about 10 a.m. after receiving reports that the suspected shooter might be hiding inside. About 11:10 a.m., officers fired tear gas into the shed and a trailer. Three shots could be heard. No one was found inside, however.
Officers continued to surround a nearby house looking for Roman. After a search, however, police were unable to find him and left the neighborhood about 1 p.m. It was unclear whether Roman had ever been in the area Tuesday. Police said they found no evidence that he had been there.
Roman is described as Hispanic, 5 feet 7 inches tall, weighing 130 pounds, with brown hair and brown eyes. Police said he has several family members in the Poplar Grove area.
Police handcuffed and detained one man — reportedly an uncle of Roman — from a shed near 500 South and 1050 West. Police would not confirm the information, but there were some reports that he had told police Roman may have been in the shed with him. He was not arrested, however.
SWAT officers earlier searched the home of Andres Pedra near 400 South and 1100 West. He said police mistakenly believed that Roman's grandmother lived there.
"We said no, we had nothing to do with that," Pedra told the Deseret News.
SWAT teams searched the house anyway and found nothing. Pedra said he didn't mind the slight inconvenience. "It was fine," he said, noting that he understood the officers are trying to keep the community safe.
Investigators would not confirm some reports that Roman may be heavily armed with weapons, including an AK-47 assault rifle.
Police also identified a second "person of interest" in the case, Ruben Chavez Reyes, 36, and distributed his photo to the news media. Dekker said Reyes owns both the Cadillac and Corvette and is a friend of Roman.
Reyes is believed to have "information on possibly where our primary suspect is," said Department of Public Safety spokesman Jeff Nigbur. "We are investigating whether he may have either helped or assisted (Roman)."
Fox is the 128th Utah officer killed in the line of duty and only the second woman. The first female officer was Esther Todecheene, with the Navajo Department of Safety, who was killed June 8, 1998, after her car rolled when she lost control on a corner while responding to a call from another officer.
Roman's criminal history in Utah thus far has been largely drug-related. He pleaded guilty to a charge of distribution of a controlled substance, a class A misdemeanor, in 1992, and to charges of possession with the intent to distribute and use, and/or possession of drug paraphernalia and carrying a concealed dangerous weapon in 1997.
Roman was arrested four times in the past by the Millard County Sheriff's Office and had been deported at least once, but had come back to Utah, Dekker said.
When asked about his feelings on illegal immigration, the sheriff declined to comment specifically on this case, but said, "I think there's some thing that need to be fixed."
Dash cameras on Fox's patrol car and the sergeant's car hadn't been engaged.
Dekker said the last deputy killed in Millard County was Floyd Rose in 1922. Rose was a car salesman who was a volunteer deputy. He was shot while attempting to apprehend an inmate who had escaped from the jail. Rose, also, was killed in Delta.
Anyone who believes they have seen Roman or has any information related to him is asked to contact the Millard County Sheriff's Office at 435-743-5302 or Salt Lake police at 801-799-3000.
At Franklin Elementary, students were scheduled for a late start. Officers were in place to instruct parents about the school closure. A bus was also in the parking lot to allow students who arrived to stay warm until parents could pick them up. Nearby Parkview Elementary, 970 Emery Street (1170 West), was in a voluntary lockdown mode, said Salt Lake School District spokesman Jason Olsen. The exterior doors were locked, but students continued with their regular routines inside the building.
Officials at Guadalupe charter school, which is also closed, said night classes would be held Tuesday evening.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Booby!
Ah, the joy of suckling! She lovingly watched the fishlike motions of the toothless mouth and she imagined that with her milk there flowed into her little son her deepest thoughts, concepts, and dreams. ~Milan Kundera
Nursing does not diminish the beauty of a woman's breasts; it enhances their charm by making them look lived in and happy. ~Robert A. Heinlein
When an actress takes off her clothes onscreen but a nursing mother is told to leave, what message do we send about the roles of women? In some ways we're as committed to the old madonna-whore dichotomy as ever. And the madonna stays home, feeding the baby behind the blinds, a vestige of those days when for a lady to venture out was a flagrant act of public exposure. ~Anna Quindlen
A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three. ~Grantly Dick-Read
Breastfeeding is an unsentimental metaphor for how love works, in a way. You don't decide how much and how deeply to love - you respond to the beloved, and give with joy exactly as much as they want. ~Marni Jackson
Nursing does not diminish the beauty of a woman's breasts; it enhances their charm by making them look lived in and happy. ~Robert A. Heinlein
When an actress takes off her clothes onscreen but a nursing mother is told to leave, what message do we send about the roles of women? In some ways we're as committed to the old madonna-whore dichotomy as ever. And the madonna stays home, feeding the baby behind the blinds, a vestige of those days when for a lady to venture out was a flagrant act of public exposure. ~Anna Quindlen
A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three. ~Grantly Dick-Read
Breastfeeding is an unsentimental metaphor for how love works, in a way. You don't decide how much and how deeply to love - you respond to the beloved, and give with joy exactly as much as they want. ~Marni Jackson
A very Libby Broden Christmas
I talked Ed into going to Libby for Christmas this year, just in case this is Grandma Elsie's last Christmas. I was kind of sad not to be spending the holiday in our new home with our awesome little monkey, but I was really looking forward to seeing my relatives. We went to Mom's house on the 23rd and spent the night. On the 24th we woke up lazily. Sarah and I got ready for the day and took Siren, Taser, and Goliath to Kootenai Animal Hospital in Post Falls so that they could be boarded while we were in Libby. Since Siren and Isis (Josiah and Lisa's dog) don't get along we couldn't leave the dogs at Mom's house for the overnight trip we were gone. They weighed the girls and even though Siren lost a lot of weight this summer, she was 78 pounds. WOW she's a fatty McBoxy! Taser was 63 pounds. She doesn't look like she weighs that much and she's only 8 months old. Holy crap! I told the vet techs there that I would pay $5 to whoever can figure out what Taser actually is. There will be more on that later.
We took two cars up to Libby because there was no way we were going to be able to fit Ed, me, G, Mom, Lisa, Josiah and Sarah into one car. Mom rode with us and kept G company in the backseat. When we got to Libby we checked in at the Venture and found out that we were pretty much the only residents of the hotel this holiday, except for Bob and Vicky and the girls. Then we went out to Grandma's house and hung out there. Ed and Mom helped Kris with all the baking and snack fixing that she was doing and Gaby and Maggie chased G around. It was so nice to see so many people! We all ditched Grandma and Sarah, leaving them at the house while we went to the Christmas Eve service at the Lutheran church. It was a nice service. G was a bit of a handful at first but I ended up boobying him and he slept through the whole service. That meant a LATE nap for him but that's okay because we usually party pretty late on Christmas Eve!
We all gathered back at Grandma's house, continuing to stuff our faces with the likes of candy, brownies, smokies, cheese, etc. Then it was time for that old tradition of a pinata! We trickled out to the shop and got that set up. G was really the only itty bitty kid there, the next closest being Lane (Katie's son) and he's probably 4 or 5 years old. G got to take some whacks at the pinata, sans blindfold, and he found it so hilarious. We were all so busy laughing at him and he was laughing so hard that I was glad he still wears a diaper. Anytime the pinata would swing towards him he'd run away laughing hysterically. Then the other kids got to take turns but no one had broken the pinata open yet so G got to go again. I think it was Spencer who actually slayed the pinata - that kid has a good swing considering his specialty is swimming and not baseball!
After the pinata we went back into the house and sat down with Grandma in the living room so that we could sing carols (she loves that) and read the birth of Jesus from the Bible. My Dad is the one who always read the passages and his voice was sorely missed. Spencer (Kirk & Tami's 12 year old son) stepped up to the plate and he did the reading. G figured out at that point that he had a captive audience and he wasn't about to let himself go unnoticed. He stomped up and down the length of the living room, right in the middle of everyone, growling like a dinosaur. He lifts one leg way up and then stomps it down while making his growling noise. Everyone was trying to ignore him and keep a straight face but we all lost it when Grandma started laughing at him. That's my boy - the life of the party!!!
We didn't pack our gifts up from Powell because we knew we'd just have to pack them back but my Mom made sure to pack a gift for G to open up there. She made him a "reading rug" that I can put in front of his bookshelf where he likes to sit and read his books. It's awesome - she did such a nice job on it and everyone admired it. She also got him a momma bear that has 2 baby bears around her and the momma bear reads the whole Christmas story (not the biblical one). I think G thought it was possessed at first but now he enjoys it! We got back to the hotel and it was a few more hours (see 1:30 am) before I was finally able to get G down to sleep.
Since we went to bed so late we kind of slept in on Christmas morning. When we did wake up we went to Bob & Vicky's room and woke up Gaby and Maggie so they'd join us in the pool. G and I went swimming and Ed joined us awhile later. G wasn't too in the mood for swimming but he sure loved the hot tub (don't worry, I want grandchildren so I only let him put his feet in). What a nice and relaxing start to our day! Checkout at the hotel was 11 am but when I asked the front desk what the charge would be to check out later, the woman told me not to worry about it. So we took our time! I put G down for a nap and Mom, Josiah, Ed and I went to the cemetary so we could "visit" Dad. I hadn't been to his grave since we interred him. There was snow and ice on the headstone but Mom worked to remove it. I kept packing snow over her name because I don't even want to think about the fact that her name is already on a headstone. Though I did thank her for making that decision and taking care of that for us.
We went back to the hotel and it was like 2 pm by that time. We packed up the car and truck and then headed out to Kathy's house. She was hosting Christmas dinner for all people Broden! We flustered her by showing up 2 hours early but we really had nowhere else to go! Ha! Mom got in the kitchen and helped Kathy making the dinner for 25 people. She did ham and turkey, green bean casserole, stuffing, taters, you name it - we ate it! It was fantastic!!! After dinner we headed back to Coeur d'Alene. G got to open one other very special present at my Mom's house - his official big Tonka truck. My Dad told me not to buy him one because he had to buy his grandson his real Tonka truck. Well Dad wasn't here so his wife took care of it. G loves it!!!
The next morning we picked up the dogs, who all faired well, and we headed home. When we got home to Powell we unloaded the car and dove under the tree to open the rest of our presents. G made out like a bandit - he got some really cool toys.
Now, remember back to when I dropped the dogs off at the vet to be boarded and I said I would pay $5 to whoever could tell me what breed Taser is? Sarah snickered then and I found out why on the 26th. She bought me a "Dog DNA" kit for my Christmas gift. She said she knew it was something I wouldn't buy myself, and she was right. I should get the results in about 2 weeks. My Mom bought me a Wii Fit Plus and so did Ed! I guess I got the word out well huh? :) But my true gift was getting to be around my family for the holidays. My Dad was missing but I got to be as close to having him with us by being around his mom, brothers, and sisters. I miss him more than I can ever explain but got through my first Christmas without him.
We took two cars up to Libby because there was no way we were going to be able to fit Ed, me, G, Mom, Lisa, Josiah and Sarah into one car. Mom rode with us and kept G company in the backseat. When we got to Libby we checked in at the Venture and found out that we were pretty much the only residents of the hotel this holiday, except for Bob and Vicky and the girls. Then we went out to Grandma's house and hung out there. Ed and Mom helped Kris with all the baking and snack fixing that she was doing and Gaby and Maggie chased G around. It was so nice to see so many people! We all ditched Grandma and Sarah, leaving them at the house while we went to the Christmas Eve service at the Lutheran church. It was a nice service. G was a bit of a handful at first but I ended up boobying him and he slept through the whole service. That meant a LATE nap for him but that's okay because we usually party pretty late on Christmas Eve!
We all gathered back at Grandma's house, continuing to stuff our faces with the likes of candy, brownies, smokies, cheese, etc. Then it was time for that old tradition of a pinata! We trickled out to the shop and got that set up. G was really the only itty bitty kid there, the next closest being Lane (Katie's son) and he's probably 4 or 5 years old. G got to take some whacks at the pinata, sans blindfold, and he found it so hilarious. We were all so busy laughing at him and he was laughing so hard that I was glad he still wears a diaper. Anytime the pinata would swing towards him he'd run away laughing hysterically. Then the other kids got to take turns but no one had broken the pinata open yet so G got to go again. I think it was Spencer who actually slayed the pinata - that kid has a good swing considering his specialty is swimming and not baseball!
After the pinata we went back into the house and sat down with Grandma in the living room so that we could sing carols (she loves that) and read the birth of Jesus from the Bible. My Dad is the one who always read the passages and his voice was sorely missed. Spencer (Kirk & Tami's 12 year old son) stepped up to the plate and he did the reading. G figured out at that point that he had a captive audience and he wasn't about to let himself go unnoticed. He stomped up and down the length of the living room, right in the middle of everyone, growling like a dinosaur. He lifts one leg way up and then stomps it down while making his growling noise. Everyone was trying to ignore him and keep a straight face but we all lost it when Grandma started laughing at him. That's my boy - the life of the party!!!
We didn't pack our gifts up from Powell because we knew we'd just have to pack them back but my Mom made sure to pack a gift for G to open up there. She made him a "reading rug" that I can put in front of his bookshelf where he likes to sit and read his books. It's awesome - she did such a nice job on it and everyone admired it. She also got him a momma bear that has 2 baby bears around her and the momma bear reads the whole Christmas story (not the biblical one). I think G thought it was possessed at first but now he enjoys it! We got back to the hotel and it was a few more hours (see 1:30 am) before I was finally able to get G down to sleep.
Since we went to bed so late we kind of slept in on Christmas morning. When we did wake up we went to Bob & Vicky's room and woke up Gaby and Maggie so they'd join us in the pool. G and I went swimming and Ed joined us awhile later. G wasn't too in the mood for swimming but he sure loved the hot tub (don't worry, I want grandchildren so I only let him put his feet in). What a nice and relaxing start to our day! Checkout at the hotel was 11 am but when I asked the front desk what the charge would be to check out later, the woman told me not to worry about it. So we took our time! I put G down for a nap and Mom, Josiah, Ed and I went to the cemetary so we could "visit" Dad. I hadn't been to his grave since we interred him. There was snow and ice on the headstone but Mom worked to remove it. I kept packing snow over her name because I don't even want to think about the fact that her name is already on a headstone. Though I did thank her for making that decision and taking care of that for us.
We went back to the hotel and it was like 2 pm by that time. We packed up the car and truck and then headed out to Kathy's house. She was hosting Christmas dinner for all people Broden! We flustered her by showing up 2 hours early but we really had nowhere else to go! Ha! Mom got in the kitchen and helped Kathy making the dinner for 25 people. She did ham and turkey, green bean casserole, stuffing, taters, you name it - we ate it! It was fantastic!!! After dinner we headed back to Coeur d'Alene. G got to open one other very special present at my Mom's house - his official big Tonka truck. My Dad told me not to buy him one because he had to buy his grandson his real Tonka truck. Well Dad wasn't here so his wife took care of it. G loves it!!!
The next morning we picked up the dogs, who all faired well, and we headed home. When we got home to Powell we unloaded the car and dove under the tree to open the rest of our presents. G made out like a bandit - he got some really cool toys.
Now, remember back to when I dropped the dogs off at the vet to be boarded and I said I would pay $5 to whoever could tell me what breed Taser is? Sarah snickered then and I found out why on the 26th. She bought me a "Dog DNA" kit for my Christmas gift. She said she knew it was something I wouldn't buy myself, and she was right. I should get the results in about 2 weeks. My Mom bought me a Wii Fit Plus and so did Ed! I guess I got the word out well huh? :) But my true gift was getting to be around my family for the holidays. My Dad was missing but I got to be as close to having him with us by being around his mom, brothers, and sisters. I miss him more than I can ever explain but got through my first Christmas without him.
My Christmas Letter
These are thoughts that have been running through my head for awhile now, so I took the time to sit down and write. And then I decided that this could be my Christmas letter to my family, even thought it is very personal and emotional. I didn't have time to sit down and write what I wanted to say at my Dad's funeral and I had to wing it, and I didn't do that very well. This is my way of making that up to myself, since I felt very guilty after his funeral, not ending the memorial the way I wanted to.
Dear Dad,
I can’t even begin to explain how much I miss you. Your death still seems like a bad dream. There is so much that you’ve missed out on since you left us on February 28th. Because every memory of what has happened in my life this year is punctuated by losing you, I cannot write my Christmas letter any other way. I miss you calling to talk to Garrett, I miss your voice, your laugh, your strong arms, the sound of your four “legs,” your advice/wisdom/lectures, your loud sneezes, your bushy eyebrows, your long piano fingers, and everything else about your presence on earth. The headstone that Mom got for the two of you is lovely; I just wish your name didn’t have to have two dates under it. I haven’t been able to visit your grave but I am missing Grandma Elsie something terrible so I hope to come to Libby soon. Speaking of Grandma Elsie, you should see her – she’s fighting cancer graciously, as you would expect. She looks better than she did when you died but she’s so tiny and frail now. She doesn’t talk much anymore, but if you touch her hand (or arm or face) you can still feel the spirited spark that has always come from her.
You would be so proud of Mom. Your death has broken her heart but she holds her head high and continues to try to live life. She has a lost look in her eyes but that is because the one person who has loved her most for 33 years of her life is no longer by her side. I can see that she misses you so much. We happily pour our love into her to strengthen and support her and I only hope that time will make your absence less painfully overwhelming. She’s come to visit us often and Garrett and I go to visit her a lot too. The last time we talked you said, “I can’t wait until you guys live closer.” Now we do, but you don’t! I love watching the two of them together because that woman was born to be G’s Grandma. She went out and fulfilled a dream that the two of you had and she bought herself a camp trailer. It’s a 13 foot “Fun Finder” that is perfect for just her (and maybe a grandkid) but I know you’ll travel along in her heart wherever she goes. She’s taken on the challenge of figuring out how to tow, maintain, and use it all by herself – Girl Power!!! I see many camping trips with Chuck and Jackie (and us) in her future now that she’ll have her own comfortable space.
Josiah and Lisa moved up from Texas in May. It is nice to know that Mom has a man around the house to help her with the heavy lifting and mechanical stuff. Josiah works at Fred Meyer and Lisa works at the Home Depot in the Spokane Valley. She’s got a little bit of a commute so could you do me a favor and watch over our little New Yorker until she learns to drive on Idaho snow? Sarah’s recovery from her broken leg (we still have a suspicion that you might have pushed her) went well; she exceeded the doctor’s expectations and healed fast under Mom’s care and with Josiah and Lisa’s help. I am so proud of Sarah for going back to school in Moscow (in August) even though I know it is hard for her to get to and from classes. John bounced back from being laid off at Micron and he moved his family to McMinnville, Oregon just down the road from Heathers parents. John went back to school. Ben is the class clown and he looks more like you every day. Keith is growing so big and strong and he’ll be a great bodyguard for his brother someday.
When we came back to the house after your funeral Ben asked me, “Why didn’t you bring Poopah home from the church too?” How do you explain to a six year old that Poopah is home…but in Heaven? Sometimes I wonder which I would have rather had: older kids who got lots of time with you and know that you are gone or a baby (like Garrett) who got to meet you but will not remember how big your love feels. Sometimes I get angry when I think about how you will never meet the rest of your grandchildren and how Sarah won’t have you to walk her down the aisle. But you always taught us that life isn’t fair. Your death is proof of that.
You were right about Garrett - he is a crazy monkey and he is tall! If he continues to grow like this he’ll certainly be eyed by scouts from the Seahawks - but don’t worry, we’ll steer him towards a team that can win football games. Were you there watching when he started walking in early May at only 10 months old? I grabbed the phone to call you before I realized you wouldn’t answer. Your little “G-Man” is outgoing, friendly, stubborn, loving, precocious, charming, inquisitive, comical, and overall…amazing! You made me promise before he was born that we would turn him into “Poopah’s little Davy Crockett.” The boy would rather that we let him live outside naked, every day of the summer. In early summer, we hiked with him riding in his Kelty pack but by the end of summer, he was hiking right alongside us. He teaches us to slow down and enjoy things we would have otherwise walked right by. We took him fishing this summer and hunting this fall. He loves to feel the trees, grass and bushes and he loves to pick flowers and squash bugs. Helping him learn is such a gift – he picks things up so quickly and there is joy in every discovery. He has no fear, which is so awesome to get to watch! I hope that we can continue to raise him in a manner that gives him the stability to test out his capabilities and environment and learn his own limitations without having them imposed on him.
You were supposed to take a road trip to pickup Ben for the summer and then come see us in June for Garrett’s first birthday. He didn’t get the Tonka trucks that you said you would get him, but we will make sure that he has them someday. Mom joined us to celebrate his special day, which involved a destroyed cake and lots of pictures. His favorite indoor activity is reading – he loves books. If you were here he would happily climb up into your lap and have you read to him. He recently started pointing to pictures of you and saying “Gappa,” which is heartbreakingly sweet. He loves all things trains, cars/trucks, and dinosaurs. He dances with a hilariously smug look on his face whenever he hears music. He loves Sesame Street, all things Disney (especially Cars) and SpongeBob SquarePants. Sarah bought him SpongeBob pajamas since she can’t buy you a SpongeBob t-shirt this year. Last month, I got out his little potty chair and put it in his bathroom so that he could get used to seeing it around. He sat down and decided to start potty training at 16 months! I took a picture of Garrett sitting naked on his little potty and he’s reading a book titled “I Love You Stinkyface.” It reminded me so much of you that I laughed and cried at the same time. You would be so proud of my little Miracle.
Powell is everything that we had hoped it would be, and more. When we first got here, I cried when I thought about how you were supposed to be visiting all the time now that we are closer and you were retired. But I tell myself that you are here, and now you get to see everything wonderful that is going on. Ed is in paradise because he is deep in the woods and he chases down speeders and truckers all day long. He’s made quite an impact on traffic travelling this Lewis & Clark Highway and he has impressed his supervisors in Lewiston. Hunting season did not go very well for him (or me) this fall as this area is inundated with out of state hunters but that just means the bucks will be bigger next year. He missed getting to take you out hunting with him this year; he was really looking forward to exploring the Clearwater National Forest with you as his navigator. He misses his father-in-law and his friend. Ed takes so much pleasure in being Garrett’s Daddy. They play cars and dinosaurs together and Garrett laughs so hard whenever Ed chases him.
We listed our Pocatello house for sale on the 1st of March and did not close on it until the 31st of July. We made a much smaller profit than we had hoped. I kept busy between your death, putting the house on the market, packing up the house, leaving my job and friends, having another stapendectomy (which did not work), moving 500+ miles, and setting up the Powell house. It’s been a long few months but it has helpful having so much to do, as it hasn’t allowed me much time to sit and dwell on the void you left. A part of my heart is missing. Planning your funeral was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I wanted to give everyone an opportunity to mourn your death and honor you. The service was lovely and so many people were there to say goodbye. You would have enjoyed it because we were able to make people laugh and we played the song that you told us you wanted played at your funeral. Some nights I dream about what life is like for you in Heaven and I wake up feeling at peace, knowing that you are where a man of faith belongs. But I wasn’t ready to let you go. I wanted one more Fathers Day, one more birthday, one more Christmas…
Now that it has come time to recount the year, all my thoughts went to thinking about everything that you weren’t here to experience with us. I hope that your death will teach our family and friends to cherish each other, every day of their lives, and especially at this special Holiday season. It’s going to be strange to be missing such an important member of our family. I don’t know why you had to go so soon but it’s taught me that it is not my place to question God but to live the life He gave me. Your heart worked so hard to give so much love that it wore itself out too quickly, but you lived a great life in 53 years. I like to think that Grandpa Broden was there to welcome you in Heaven and that the two of you sat down to a game of pinochle. Is Heaven everything you had imagined it would be? Now that you are surrounded by God’s glory, what does your heart feel? Did you dance for Jesus or in honor of him be still? Did you stand in His presence or fall to your knees? Did you sing Hallelujah or were you able to speak at all? I can only imagine…
Missing you, Cynder
P.S. – Just to make sure - it wasn’t the thought of living through the Obama Administration that did you in was it?
Dear Dad,
I can’t even begin to explain how much I miss you. Your death still seems like a bad dream. There is so much that you’ve missed out on since you left us on February 28th. Because every memory of what has happened in my life this year is punctuated by losing you, I cannot write my Christmas letter any other way. I miss you calling to talk to Garrett, I miss your voice, your laugh, your strong arms, the sound of your four “legs,” your advice/wisdom/lectures, your loud sneezes, your bushy eyebrows, your long piano fingers, and everything else about your presence on earth. The headstone that Mom got for the two of you is lovely; I just wish your name didn’t have to have two dates under it. I haven’t been able to visit your grave but I am missing Grandma Elsie something terrible so I hope to come to Libby soon. Speaking of Grandma Elsie, you should see her – she’s fighting cancer graciously, as you would expect. She looks better than she did when you died but she’s so tiny and frail now. She doesn’t talk much anymore, but if you touch her hand (or arm or face) you can still feel the spirited spark that has always come from her.
You would be so proud of Mom. Your death has broken her heart but she holds her head high and continues to try to live life. She has a lost look in her eyes but that is because the one person who has loved her most for 33 years of her life is no longer by her side. I can see that she misses you so much. We happily pour our love into her to strengthen and support her and I only hope that time will make your absence less painfully overwhelming. She’s come to visit us often and Garrett and I go to visit her a lot too. The last time we talked you said, “I can’t wait until you guys live closer.” Now we do, but you don’t! I love watching the two of them together because that woman was born to be G’s Grandma. She went out and fulfilled a dream that the two of you had and she bought herself a camp trailer. It’s a 13 foot “Fun Finder” that is perfect for just her (and maybe a grandkid) but I know you’ll travel along in her heart wherever she goes. She’s taken on the challenge of figuring out how to tow, maintain, and use it all by herself – Girl Power!!! I see many camping trips with Chuck and Jackie (and us) in her future now that she’ll have her own comfortable space.
Josiah and Lisa moved up from Texas in May. It is nice to know that Mom has a man around the house to help her with the heavy lifting and mechanical stuff. Josiah works at Fred Meyer and Lisa works at the Home Depot in the Spokane Valley. She’s got a little bit of a commute so could you do me a favor and watch over our little New Yorker until she learns to drive on Idaho snow? Sarah’s recovery from her broken leg (we still have a suspicion that you might have pushed her) went well; she exceeded the doctor’s expectations and healed fast under Mom’s care and with Josiah and Lisa’s help. I am so proud of Sarah for going back to school in Moscow (in August) even though I know it is hard for her to get to and from classes. John bounced back from being laid off at Micron and he moved his family to McMinnville, Oregon just down the road from Heathers parents. John went back to school. Ben is the class clown and he looks more like you every day. Keith is growing so big and strong and he’ll be a great bodyguard for his brother someday.
When we came back to the house after your funeral Ben asked me, “Why didn’t you bring Poopah home from the church too?” How do you explain to a six year old that Poopah is home…but in Heaven? Sometimes I wonder which I would have rather had: older kids who got lots of time with you and know that you are gone or a baby (like Garrett) who got to meet you but will not remember how big your love feels. Sometimes I get angry when I think about how you will never meet the rest of your grandchildren and how Sarah won’t have you to walk her down the aisle. But you always taught us that life isn’t fair. Your death is proof of that.
You were right about Garrett - he is a crazy monkey and he is tall! If he continues to grow like this he’ll certainly be eyed by scouts from the Seahawks - but don’t worry, we’ll steer him towards a team that can win football games. Were you there watching when he started walking in early May at only 10 months old? I grabbed the phone to call you before I realized you wouldn’t answer. Your little “G-Man” is outgoing, friendly, stubborn, loving, precocious, charming, inquisitive, comical, and overall…amazing! You made me promise before he was born that we would turn him into “Poopah’s little Davy Crockett.” The boy would rather that we let him live outside naked, every day of the summer. In early summer, we hiked with him riding in his Kelty pack but by the end of summer, he was hiking right alongside us. He teaches us to slow down and enjoy things we would have otherwise walked right by. We took him fishing this summer and hunting this fall. He loves to feel the trees, grass and bushes and he loves to pick flowers and squash bugs. Helping him learn is such a gift – he picks things up so quickly and there is joy in every discovery. He has no fear, which is so awesome to get to watch! I hope that we can continue to raise him in a manner that gives him the stability to test out his capabilities and environment and learn his own limitations without having them imposed on him.
You were supposed to take a road trip to pickup Ben for the summer and then come see us in June for Garrett’s first birthday. He didn’t get the Tonka trucks that you said you would get him, but we will make sure that he has them someday. Mom joined us to celebrate his special day, which involved a destroyed cake and lots of pictures. His favorite indoor activity is reading – he loves books. If you were here he would happily climb up into your lap and have you read to him. He recently started pointing to pictures of you and saying “Gappa,” which is heartbreakingly sweet. He loves all things trains, cars/trucks, and dinosaurs. He dances with a hilariously smug look on his face whenever he hears music. He loves Sesame Street, all things Disney (especially Cars) and SpongeBob SquarePants. Sarah bought him SpongeBob pajamas since she can’t buy you a SpongeBob t-shirt this year. Last month, I got out his little potty chair and put it in his bathroom so that he could get used to seeing it around. He sat down and decided to start potty training at 16 months! I took a picture of Garrett sitting naked on his little potty and he’s reading a book titled “I Love You Stinkyface.” It reminded me so much of you that I laughed and cried at the same time. You would be so proud of my little Miracle.
Powell is everything that we had hoped it would be, and more. When we first got here, I cried when I thought about how you were supposed to be visiting all the time now that we are closer and you were retired. But I tell myself that you are here, and now you get to see everything wonderful that is going on. Ed is in paradise because he is deep in the woods and he chases down speeders and truckers all day long. He’s made quite an impact on traffic travelling this Lewis & Clark Highway and he has impressed his supervisors in Lewiston. Hunting season did not go very well for him (or me) this fall as this area is inundated with out of state hunters but that just means the bucks will be bigger next year. He missed getting to take you out hunting with him this year; he was really looking forward to exploring the Clearwater National Forest with you as his navigator. He misses his father-in-law and his friend. Ed takes so much pleasure in being Garrett’s Daddy. They play cars and dinosaurs together and Garrett laughs so hard whenever Ed chases him.
We listed our Pocatello house for sale on the 1st of March and did not close on it until the 31st of July. We made a much smaller profit than we had hoped. I kept busy between your death, putting the house on the market, packing up the house, leaving my job and friends, having another stapendectomy (which did not work), moving 500+ miles, and setting up the Powell house. It’s been a long few months but it has helpful having so much to do, as it hasn’t allowed me much time to sit and dwell on the void you left. A part of my heart is missing. Planning your funeral was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I wanted to give everyone an opportunity to mourn your death and honor you. The service was lovely and so many people were there to say goodbye. You would have enjoyed it because we were able to make people laugh and we played the song that you told us you wanted played at your funeral. Some nights I dream about what life is like for you in Heaven and I wake up feeling at peace, knowing that you are where a man of faith belongs. But I wasn’t ready to let you go. I wanted one more Fathers Day, one more birthday, one more Christmas…
Now that it has come time to recount the year, all my thoughts went to thinking about everything that you weren’t here to experience with us. I hope that your death will teach our family and friends to cherish each other, every day of their lives, and especially at this special Holiday season. It’s going to be strange to be missing such an important member of our family. I don’t know why you had to go so soon but it’s taught me that it is not my place to question God but to live the life He gave me. Your heart worked so hard to give so much love that it wore itself out too quickly, but you lived a great life in 53 years. I like to think that Grandpa Broden was there to welcome you in Heaven and that the two of you sat down to a game of pinochle. Is Heaven everything you had imagined it would be? Now that you are surrounded by God’s glory, what does your heart feel? Did you dance for Jesus or in honor of him be still? Did you stand in His presence or fall to your knees? Did you sing Hallelujah or were you able to speak at all? I can only imagine…
Missing you, Cynder
P.S. – Just to make sure - it wasn’t the thought of living through the Obama Administration that did you in was it?
My Sarah
My little sister Sarah is 8.5 years younger than me and I've loved her every minute of every day since the time she was born. I remember asking my Mom on the phone (she was in the hospital after having delivered Sarah) if she had freckles. She didn't, but I still loved her.
Sarah's got Basilar Invagination.
Sarah's got Basilar Invagination.
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