A special Valentine

I was blown away when on Valentines Day morning G reached between the cushions on the couch, pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to his dad, telling him, "I made you a Balentine daddy."  He really had, completely on his own and without one bit of help from me.  Well I guess I unknowingly helped, I had folded some paper into card form for use on something else and he pilfered one and made his dad a Valentine.

I saw a little mist in E's eyes.  And I had it too.  

G drew pink hearts and the stick figures are him and his dad holding hands.  I could die from the cuteness!  

He wrote, "I love you."  Did you read that?  He did it all by himself.  That's what makes it even cooler.  

I put out a request for other kids to send G a Valentine like he would get in a regular classroom.  We ended up getting to do almost 50 Valentines.  He didn't get more than 20 in return but he ooh'd and aah'd over every one he received.  Some people even sent little gifts like tattoos or stickers, pencils, etc.  He wrote his out all on his own which is so hard for him since handwriting isn't his strength and we made some homemade ones since we ran out!  I was pretty proud of him for wanting to give some love to kids he hadn't even met.  It was nice to see such a sweet side of him!  

Happy Birthday, Siren!

When she was diagnosed with cancer back in November I thought, "I just hope we get to keep her until the new year."  When the new year came and went I thought, "I hope she makes it to her 11th birthday."  Well that's today and she's made it!

Two days ago she was trying to follow us as we were leaving the yard to go snowshoeing in the woods behind the house.  The snow was wet and heavy since it was bright and warm day.  I had to turn around and go back in the house to replace my camera battery and when I came back outside she was just laying in the yard on her side.  I yelled her name and she didn't move.  I yelled to E who had started down the trail (she was following him) and he came back to her.  We converged on her at the same time and she was lifeless.  I couldn't tell if she had broken her leg (i.e. it sunk in the snow and she lurched forward, totally plausible) but when I got to her it didn't look like she was breathing.  

We crouched around her and petted her and said sweet things to her.  It was much more calm than I thought we'd be.  Even G was sweet and was petting her lovingly and trying to speak quietly but asking a lot of questions.  Then she vacated her bowels and peed and I thought, "Okay, this is where it ends."  Then a minute later her eyes snapped open and she lifted her head up.  We had her lay still for another minute or so and then she wanted to get up so we helped her up.  She was shaky at first but she walked back to the sidewalk and out of the snow and her rump was wiggling it's happy wiggle.  So we made sure she was okay and then we left her and Gunner at home while we went out on the snowshoes.  She was just fine when we came back.

It was an eye opener for me though.  It's the first sign I've really had that the cancer is doing something.  I'm guessing it might have been a heart attack because trudging through snow certainly gets my heart rate elevated and that tumor in her chest is probably putting some pressure on her heart and lungs.  It could have been a seizure but there were no tremors, violent or otherwise.  I don't know but it was a reminder that our time with her is limited.

So when G woke up this morning I reminded him that today was a special day and he immediately said, "Oh it's the 10th!  It's Siren's birthday!"  Yessir, it is!  "We better make a doggy cake."  So we did, but cupcakes so she couldn't eat it all at once and so Gunner could have some too.  So doggy cupcakes it is!  Here's the recipe I used:

Peanut Butter & Pumpkin Cake

Ingredients:
1 cup flour
1tsp baking soda
1/4 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 cup canned pumpkin
1 tsp. vanilla
1/3 cup honey
1 egg

Directions: Mix flour and baking soda. Add remaining ingredients. Pour into greased 8" round cake pan and bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Let cool.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lectersmeal/5464855239/

We went ahead and added a banana as well because she loves bananas.  It didn't help the taste for us humans (it wasn't ew gross, just kinda blech) but we weren't planning on eating them anyway.  

A birthday "cake" must have candles of course, even when it's for a dog!

The look on her face is priceless.  "OMG why would you give him fire and then tell him to stick it in my face?  Do you hate me?  I am dying of cancer here, lady, please don't burn my body until after I die!"

The cupcakes were Gunner approved too, naturally.  

I couldn't exactly screw them up, they both eat poo for goodness sake so their tastebuds aren't terribly discriminating.  

Sunshiny day!

We are all rocking a little cabin fever since it's been raining pretty steadily for two days.  Just dark, gloomy, ick weather.  Until today.  So I made G turn off the electronics (let me add that the fit he threw guarantee'd a moratorium on electronics for a few days now) and come outside to play.  We strapped on the snowshoes and took a "walk."  

Here we are from a year ago.  It looks like neither of us grew much.

The sun was glorious, even though it was melting the snow, making it went and heavy and even harder to trudge through.  It felt so good on my face that I had to start stripping layers long before we got home.

 (01-2012)

We found a big spot in the snow where a moose had bedded down.  We could see how it had just lowered itself down on its front legs and then stuck its neck and face straight out.  Pretty cool.

He is so much more confident and able on the snowshoes.  

Here are some older pictures of him on snowshoes.

 (02-2012)

 (03-2012)

 (11-2011)

 (11-2011)

Problem...getting across the creek.  Solution...just throw him over it!

Ah...this is what we were looking for.

Sometimes I ask him if he realizes how lucky he is to get to live here.  He'll just roll his eyes and say, "Yeah okay whatever, mom."  And other times he'll answer with a breathless, "It's so awesome here."  

 (11-2011)

G told me he was going to "picture boom" my pic of his dad.  

Handsome boy all worn out.  Poor E is too becaue he did 40 minutes on the elliptical before we went out on shoes!

So glad I did that.

This is our neighbor's dog.  Their three dogs are like their children.  I spend enough time at their house to know the dogs pretty well.  During a really cold snap back in December they needed to leave the dogs in the house because the two GSD's are "elderly."  So while they were away at work G and I went over to their house throughout the day to let the dogs out to potty, etc.  I took my camera on one trip over there intending to see if I could get a few snapshots of the dogs for them.  Do you know how hard it is to photograph dogs?  It's hard.  Dogs are not supposed to look you in the eye because it speaks to dominance...and a camera lens is an extension of the eye.  So you can't sit right there and ask them to pose and look at you.  I shot this with a 300mm lens and I waited until he had stopped noticing me and I called his name softly.  He was standing in the opening to the garage and I was a little off to one side but it ended up being perfectly framed.

And somehow I managed to capture this lovely piece of work.  I didn't realize until later that night when I put in my card to check the shots and it kind of took my breath away, in a good way.  I got him.  I 100% captured Tucker, right down to his token "smile" and always alert ears.

I have issues with self-confidence and maybe perfectionism when it comes to taking photographs.  And therefore I never "gift" my photos to people.  But I knew right away that I should do something special with this one.  Tucker got pretty sick this summer with an infection but with all their love and care he pulled through.  But his health continued to decline fairly quickly.  I've never seen people put so much time attention (and money) into their animals.  I ordered a photo canvas of this picture the next day but it didn't arrive until after the New Year.  It was intended to be a Christmas gift but my plan was kind of foiled.  It's okay, they loved it even if I didn't get it done for Christmas.

And then today they had to have sweet Tucker put down.  I can't imagine how hard that was for them.  When I told G about it his eyes didn't well up with tears but he had a sad expression on his face and he said, "Oh my poor Tucky buddy, I'm sure gonna miss him."  Tucker was the ultimate little boy protector.  In fact Tucker often got in trouble because he'd nip G's arm or sleeve or ankle, etc. to keep him from doing something that Tucker deemed dangerous.  He was a quick study so whenever he'd see G coming he'd find something to keep in his mouth (usually a block of wood) so he wouldn't be tempted to nip him.  So he'd follow G around with the block of wood and whine at him like, "Please, child, stop that, you're freaking me out!"  

I'm proud of myself for this picture.  Not because it is well done but because I was able to look beyond my own hang-ups and give it to them as a gift, one last shot of someone they loved so much.

He's got a new smile!

"Hey mom, my toof is loose."  Sure enough, it was a wigglin'.

I kept asking him to please let me pull it out.  "It'll happen when it happens, mommy, no need to make it happen."  Okay, then stop talking to me because it was wiggling on it's own when he was talking and it was freaking me out.  Then he figured out I was grossed out by it so he was doing cute shit like singing songs to me to make it wiggle and freak me out.

He talked me into pizza for dinner on the 3rd because pizza knocked out the last one.  But it didn't come out.  The next day he was eating a hot dog for lunch (wow, this shows our nutritious eating habits eh?) and sure enough with the first bite, out it came!  Look at that new smile!  I love it.  And the gap seems so huge now thanks to the Christensen diastema.  

It's so hard to sit back and not say anything when I know my child is setting himself up for disappointing heartbreak.  He put his lost tooth in an envelope with a note to the tooth fairy asking for a Lego Minecraft minifig.  I told him she's the tooth fairy, not Santa, and she can't take requests and she can't carry around big ticket items lik that for every kid that loses a tooth.  I reminded him that each kid has a mouthful of teeth so she's got a lot more kids to visit than he realizes.   He pointed out that adults don't lose their teeth and Santa brings adults presents so really Santa and the Tooth Fairy have a pretty equal load of work.  He was quite confident she'd come through.
 
She didn't. She left him a clean, crisp $1 bill under his pillow.

I thought tomorrow would suck when he wakes up and the disappointment hits.  He spared me the wait and after putting himself to bed at 8:00 pm he woke up around 10:30 pm and found the dollar.  We heard him crying softly in his room. E went in and consoled him and he went back to sleep.  We had a chat the next day about how the tooth fairy gave him money so that he can save up for his Minecraft set.

Disappointment happens; sometimes it's my job as the parent just to be there to hug them while he cries.  Even if the parent is kind of the reason he's crying and disappointed.