Halloween V. Christianity

http://americanvision.org/3671/concerning-halloween/

It has become routine in October for some Christian schools to send out letters warning parents about the evils of Halloween, and it has become equally routine for me to be asked questions about this matter.[1]

“Halloween” is simply a contraction for All Hallows’ Eve. The word “hallow” means “saint,” in that “hallow” is just an alternative form of the word “holy” (“hallowed be Thy name”). All Saints’ Day is November 1. It is the celebration of the victory of the saints in union with Christ. The observance of various celebrations of All Saints arose in the late 300s, and these were united and fixed on November 1 in the late 700s. The origin of All Saints Day and of All Saints Eve in Mediterranean Christianity had nothing to do with Celtic Druidism or the Church’s fight against Druidism (assuming there ever even was any such thing as Druidism, which is actually a myth concocted in the 19th century by neo-pagans.)

In the First Covenant, the war between God’s people and God’s enemies was fought on the human level against Egyptians, Assyrians, etc. With the coming of the New Covenant, however, we are told that our primary battle is against principalities and powers, against fallen angels who bind the hearts and minds of men in ignorance and fear. We are assured that through faith, prayer, and obedience, the saints will be victorious in our battle against these demonic forces. The Spirit assures us: “The God of peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly” (Romans 16:20).

The Festival of All Saints reminds us that though Jesus has finished His work, we have not finished ours. He has struck the decisive blow, but we have the privilege of working in the mopping up operation. Thus, century by century the Christian faith has rolled back the demonic realm of ignorance, fear, and superstition. Though things look bad in the Western world today, this work continues to make progress in Asia and Africa and Latin America.

The Biblical day begins in the preceding evening, and thus in the Church calendar, the eve of a day is the actual beginning of the festive day. Christmas Eve is most familiar to us, but there is also the Vigil of Holy Saturday that precedes Easter Morn. Similarly, All Saints’ Eve precedes All Saints’ Day.

The concept, as dramatized in Christian custom, is quite simple: On October 31, the demonic realm tries one last time to achieve victory, but is banished by the joy of the Kingdom.

What is the means by which the demonic realm is vanquished? In a word: mockery. Satan’s great sin (and our great sin) is pride. Thus, to drive Satan from us we ridicule him. This is why the custom arose of portraying Satan in a ridiculous red suit with horns and a tail. Nobody thinks the devil really looks like this; the Bible teaches that he is the fallen Arch-Cherub. Rather, the idea is to ridicule him because he has lost the battle with Jesus and he no longer has power over us.

(The tradition of mocking Satan and defeating him through joy and laughter plays a large role in Ray Bradbury’s classic novel, Something Wicked This Way Comes, which is a Halloween novel.)

The gargoyles that were placed on the churches of old had the same meaning. They symbolized the Church ridiculing the enemy. They stick out their tongues and make faces at those who would assault the Church. Gargoyles are not demonic; they are believers ridiculing the defeated demonic army.

Thus, the defeat of evil and of demonic powers is associated with Halloween. For this reason, Martin Luther posted his 95 challenges to the wicked practices of the Church to the bulletin board on the door of the Wittenberg chapel on Halloween. He picked his day with care, and ever since Halloween has also been Reformation Day.

Similarly, on All Hallows’ Eve (Hallow-Even – Hallow-E’en – Halloween), the custom arose of mocking the demonic realm by dressing children in costumes. Because the power of Satan has been broken once and for all, our children can mock him by dressing up like ghosts, goblins, and witches. The fact that we can dress our children this way shows our supreme confidence in the utter defeat of Satan by Jesus Christ – we have NO FEAR!

I don’t have the resources to check the historical origins of all Halloween customs, and doubtless they have varied from time to time and from Christian land to Christian land. “Trick or treat” doubtless originated simply enough: something fun for kids to do. Like anything else, this custom can be perverted, and there have been times when “tricking” involved really mean actions by teenagers and was banned from some localities.

We can hardly object, however, to children collecting candy from friends and neighbors. This might not mean much to us today, because we are so prosperous that we have candy whenever we want, but in earlier generations people were not so well off, and obtaining some candy or other treats was something special. There is no reason to pour cold water on an innocent custom like this.

Similarly, the jack-o’-lantern’s origins are unknown. Hollowing out a gourd or some other vegetable, carving a face, and putting a lamp inside of it is something that no doubt has occurred quite independently to tens of thousands of ordinary people in hundreds of cultures worldwide over the centuries. Since people lit their homes with candles, decorating the candles and the candle-holders was a routine part of life designed to make the home pretty or interesting. Potatoes, turnips, beets, and any number of other items were used.

* * * * *

In the New World, people soon learned that pumpkins were admirably suited for this purpose. The jack-o’-lantern is nothing but a decoration; and the leftover pumpkin can be scraped again, roasted, and turned into pies and muffins.

In some cultures, what we call a jack-o’-lantern represented the face of a dead person, whose soul continued to have a presence in the fruit or vegetable used. But this has no particular relevance to Halloween customs. Did your mother tell you, while she carved the pumpkin, that this represented the head of a dead person and with his soul trapped inside? Of course not. Symbols and decorations, like words, mean different things in different cultures, in different languages, and in different periods of history. The only relevant question is what does it meannow, and nowadays it is only a decoration.

And even if some earlier generations did associate the jack-o’-lantern with a soul in a head, so what? They did not take it seriously. It was just part of the joking mockery of heathendom by Christian people.

This is a good place to note that many articles in books, magazines, and encyclopedias are written by secular humanists or even the pop-pagans of the so-called “New Age” movement. . . . These people actively suppress the Christian associations of historic customs, and try to magnify the pagan associations. They do this to try and make paganism acceptable and to downplay Christianity. Thus, Halloween, Christmas, Easter, etc., are said to have pagan origins. Not true.

Oddly, some fundamentalists have been influenced by these slanted views of history. These fundamentalists do not accept the humanist and pagan rewriting of Western history, American history, and science, but sometimes they do accept the humanist and pagan rewriting of the origins of Halloween and Christmas, the Christmas tree, etc. We can hope that in time these brethren will reexamine these matters as well. We ought not to let the pagans do our thinking for us.

Nowadays, children often dress up as superheroes, and the original Christian meaning of Halloween has been absorbed into popular culture. Also, with the present fad of “designer paganism” in the so-called New Age movement, some Christians are uneasy with dressing their children as spooks. So be it. But we should not forget that originally Halloween was a Christian custom, and there is no solid reason why Christians cannot enjoy it as such even today.

“He who sits in the heavens laughs; Yahweh ridicules them” says Psalm 2. Let us join in His holy laughter, and mock the enemies of Christ on October 31.

---

Endnotes:

1. “Concerning Halloween first appeared in OPEN BOOK, Views & Reviews, No. 28, August 1996 [↩]

Aunty house!!!

G and I packed up and went to Aunty Wheels' house for 8 days! It flew by so dang fast! We left on Wednesday the 19th and came home on Thursday the 27th. We spent some time down on the Spokane River (to keep G occupied) and down at Cd'A City beach and Ft. Sherman (G's favorite park). G enjoyed, of course, the train tracks by Aunty's apartment the most. This time Aunty's doggy Goliath was there (he lives with her now and is great company for her) so G and I got to take him for walks and potty breaks frequently.

Speaking of walks, we took Aunty Wheels for lots of walks too, she gets kind of cooped up in her apartment. Now that she has an electric wheelchair it's a lot easier to get her out...as long as it doesn't involve going in a car because I can't exactly just pack up her electric chair and put it in my car. We need one of those fancy bus type things with the wheelchair lift. Or at least public transportation with that. I'll have to look for that next time we're up there.

Not only did we take the train trip but we went to Spokane to see a friend of mine from high school. I was hoping that he could fix E's laptop but it looks like it might officially be toast. I can't say I didn't try. G slept pretty well at Aunty's house the first few nights then he started to get up too dang early each morning. Mostly because he somehow kept wetting his "bed" (a pile of blankets on the floor). So I kept having to start a load of laundry at like 6:30 am. I ended up at the Immediate Care with what turned out to be an ear infection. G was slightly sickly the whole time but not sickly enough to slow him down.

He got to play with a lot of new friends and overall he was a good boy. He sure does love his cousin Brooklyn (aka Cookie) and it was so cool to watch him be the older cousin/big brother figure to her. He'd help me with diaper changes and he'd give her a binky or bottle when she fussed. He'd explain cartoons to her and when she'd cry he'd try to comfort her. It makes me wish I could see him be someone's big brother because I'll bet he'd be great at it. He did have some fun doing the good old baby regression thing, complete with size 1 diaper, binky and bouncer. He kept telling me, "I'm momma's baby." Yes, son, you are and you always will be.

"It's so big!"

After a very long day out of the house we came back to my sister's apartment and G told me, "I need go poop." I sat him on the potty and when I came back to check on him a minute later I found that there was pee on the floor in front of the toilet.

"Uh oh, someone forgot to tuck his wiener in, huh?" I asked.

G reached down and tried to push it down. It was, well let's just say standing at attention (apparently this happens when dropping a deuce). It bounced right back up when he let it go. He tried to push it down again, same thing. One more time, boing.

He looked at me and said, "Momma it's so big. My wiener so big, you hewp me?"

Don't even act like you didn't just snicker at that. I did.

I told him, "Your daddy would be proud of that observation son. You don't really need mommy to help since you kind of already pee'd on the floor."

He tried to push it down again, it bounced back up again and all he could say was, "Whoa, cool."

drink water!

Drinking water at the correct time maximizes its effectiveness on the Human body:

2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs.

1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion but
do not drink while eating.

1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure.

1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack!

G's first train ride

Yay, he loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The drive from P.F. to Ione, up 41 to Newport and then across, was lovely. I think it's all leaf trees up that way so the autumn colors were stunning. I guess I should be glad that it was rainy and blah otherwise I'd be compelled to stop every few miles to take some pictures. I will be making that drive again simply because of the loveliness.

The weather was still cold and rainy and blah while we were waiting for the train. Thank goodness G decided he wanted to wear his turtle costume which is nice and warm and even includes gloves.

When G saw my Uncle Bob, my dad's older brother, he said, "Momma, wook, it's Gampa." I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest because he does resemble my dad a lot. And of course then there's the fact that Uncle Bob is a grandpa, just not to my son. I wonder if I can talk him into some kind of surrogacy program?

I talked my aunt into going on one of the open cars instead of the enclosed caboose. I don't think she was too happy with me about it and neither were her two teenagers since they were wrapped up in blankets and quiet the whole time.

The last 5 or so minutes of the trip TO Metaline Falls was when the sun decided to come out. It was glorious to feel the warmth and chase the glum colors away. After all, the only reason I went on the trip was to take pictures, right?

The sun decided to stay for the drive back to Ione, thankfully!

G was so sad when it was over, he didn't want to get off the train. I assuaged his hurt feelings by making sure we were in the right spot to watch the engine coupling back up to the cars. The coupling is his favorite part.

Then we went with my aunt & uncle and the girls back to their house. Little did I know my aunt (who hopped in the backseat of my car) gets motion sickness. The curvy highway between Ione and Colville was killer for me because the last thing I wanted was her ralphing in the back seat of my car so I had to slow WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY down for each curve. That's saying something because it is a very curvy drive! They made us dinner and we got to hang out until later before we drove back to my sister's place.

Did I forget to mention that my little brother, his wife and my sweet nieceypoo joined us as well? Well they did. Cookie slept the entire train ride and her momma stayed wrapped around her lest a cold wind touch her. Me? I just kept wiping the snot off G's face with my sleeve. That's the difference between a new momma of a 3.5 month old and an old hat momma of a 3.5 year old.

I had such a great time surrounded by some of my very favorite people. I didn't get the quality of pictures that I would have liked but I got a few nice ones.

Tripp

A SPECIAL CHILD

You weren’t like other children,

And God was well aware,

You’d need a caring family,

With love enough to share.

And so He sent you to us,

And much to our surprise,

You haven’t been a challenge,

But a blessing in disguise.

Your winning smiles and laughter,

The pleasures you impart,

Far outweigh your special needs,

And melt the coldest heart.

We’re proud that we’ve been chosen,

To help you learn and grow,

The job that you have brought us,

Is more than you can know.

A precious gift from Heaven,

A treasure from above,

A child who’s taught us many things,

But most of all- “Real Love”

http://randycourtneytripproth.blogspot.com/

To call this woman's blog humbling is an understatement. A friend shared it with me on a day when G was being particularly trying and I have never felt so guilty for my lack of patience with my son. When I take a second to think of what this woman's life must be like day in and day out it makes me rejoice in my son's health. She has such grace about her situation, it astounds me.

I'll bet Courtney has never yelled at Tripp once in his short little life thus far.

I wake up and hope that G sleeps in late, she probably wakes up and hopes that her son wakes up too.

When G is chatting and asking question after question I try to distract him. I'll bet Courtney would love to hear her son say, "But why mommy?"

I try to block G's view of some things just so he won't take off running or throw a fit about something. And yet this momma can't even look into her son's eyes to see what color they are anymore and he can't see out them either.

I have been known to push G out of my personal space bubble when he gets clingy, and she would probably give anything to be able to just scoop her son up anytime she wanted to.

The day to day taking care of G gets tiresome and I complain but I just have to bathe him and feed him and keep him out of trouble. She has to take care of his every basic need day in and day out and do it with such a light touch or with such care as to not hurt him.

I want to protect G from bad things. She wants to protect him from feeling any pain.

God bless that dear, sweet woman, such an amazing example of the limitless love of a mother.

Eddie Eagle

http://www.nrahq.org/safety/eddie/infoparents.asp

I know, it seems a little preemptive but it's not really. G is old enough to understand not to touch guns, etc. but I wonder if introducing them to him will only put them to the forefront in his mind. He hasn't got much for impulse control and right now I think it's a matter of out of sight, out of mind. Regardless, since someone introduced me to this website I looked it over and like the program. I requested the free sample kit and I guess we'll go from there.

Funny thing is, G already has a gun, he just doesn't know it. E was shopping for a gun for me and we figured out that a youth model Remington fit me pretty well. I felt kind of stupid buying a youth model gun but it's a 7mm08 so it still packs a wallop. I wasn't pregnant still when E bought it but he told me, "Besides, you can hand it off to our future child if you decide you don't like it." So G, before he was even a G, was ready to go hunting with his daddy.

Speaking of that, G was fine with seeing deer hanging in the garage, he was fine with E field dressing a deer. But when E went to cut the legs off at the knees to fit the deer in the Jeep, that's when G freaked out. "No daddy you hurt him! No!" So I got to have a chat with G about the fact that, "The deer is dead, see, feel his tummy, see how he's not breathing? He doesn't feel what Daddy is doing, it's okay." That seemed to be enough for him.

Scentsy

I have a problem. Admitting it is the first step, right? I have always been a very big smell oriented person. I love things that smell good, I hate things that smell bad. It's really pretty simple. I freak out when I can smell myself and I smell bad and that's been happening a lot more often in the last year for some reason. I think it's hormonal but it's also because I'm fat so I sweat more. And then there's the dog smell. I dislike walking into my own house and immediately have that, "Oh dogs live here," smell hit me. And then of course there's the fact that our dogs fart. A.L.O.T.. It's a breed thing.

I live with E who could win awards/contests for his fartability. He doesn't care what he's doing, who is around or how loud it is, if he wants to fart, he's going to fart. I hate the smell of farts. I share an office with him so I get to sit at my desk and be assaulted with the smell of shoe polish, gun cleaner and sweaty wool uniform and ballistic vest. Oh and now that the state isn't using Sam Browne gear anymore I don't even get the reprieve of his leather belt, it's now some funky plastic thing.

And then there is G. Oh my dear, sweet G. He's not much of a farter but he's got what I like to call Little Boy Funk. It's that mix of smelly feet, sweat, dirt, and goodness only knows what else. I miss the days of my boy smelling like baby lotion.

So in order to make my olafactory senses happy, I've got Scentsy. I love my Scentsy. One day awhile ago a friend named Krista had one of those naughty toy parties that I went to (I was pregnant with G at the time) and in addition to dildos, anal ease, benwah balls and the like I was introduced to the wonderful world of Scentsy. I can remember smelling a lot of the testers and trying not to gag but there were plenty of smells that I loved. I decided to buy a Scentsy warmer and some bars and use the good smellyness in G's nursery, kind of like aromatherapy and kind of to hide the smell of diapers in the Diaper Champ (which we never ended up keeping in his room).

And now I have a Scentsy cupboard. I'm not kidding and I could take pictures to prove it if no one believes me. They just raised prices which irks me but not enough to make me stop buying it. I have more warmers than I have rooms to put them in and I can think of at least five new warmers that I want to buy, such as a Christmas tree one. Lord help me control myself. Whenever I find a new scent that I love the dillholes at Scentsy decide to discontinue it. This is starting to tick me off. First it was my beloved Sandalwood and Cranberries, then Huckleberry Heaven, then Lavender Vanilla, then Spiced Orange Harvest and most recently, Honey Do. Why do they have to make my life so difficult? I have tried to branch out into other scents and been disappointed more than once. Recently I got one called Oats & Honey (two of my favorite things) and it is horrid. I cut one little cube up into 8th's and I still can't handle it. Even E, who only has a nose for the smell of food gagged when he walked into the house and it attacked him. I don't like Scentsy's "food" smells because they are usually way too sweet but I ordered about five of them because I know E likes them. Most of them are alright but not my favorites.

So they have opened up voting and are bringing back 20 retired/discontinued scents for one month only. I'm going to singlehandedly be responsible for one of the 20 Bring Back My Bars for January 2012 to be Sandalwood and Cranberries. Mark my words, if it's on the list it's because of my voting like a crazy person. Since I'm online working anyway, I just leave the site open and when I think about it I go in and cast another vote (or 3 votes at a time as it happens to be since I put it for my 1st, 2nd and 3rd choices). If you'd like to help me go here: http://scentsy.net/bring-back-my-bar.aspx and use the drop down menu on the right hand side. Feel free to put Sandalwood and Cranberries as your choice for each drop down. Sometimes I like and miss Lavender Vanilla but I'll pass that up any day of the week for S&C. And I'm going to start saving now so that I can buy at least 10 bars of it in January. Otherwise I'm going to have to save up because the other Scentsy bitches (trust me, I feel safe saying it's women and not men selling this stuff) know that it's discontinued and they're charging scalpers prices for what they've got. I found some on eBay for $12 per bar. It's normally $5. See? Bitches.

I'm considering signing up as a Scentsy rep. Not because I want to sell it, because I don't. Not because I want the discount, though that would be handy. But because I have too many friends that sell it and I feel like I'm cheating on them each when I buy from another rep. I recently bought from a woman named Virginia (so she could make her monthly sales goal - https://vsscents.scentsy.us) and I feel like I have to hide the fact that I made a purchase from her and not my friends Jennifer (https://jenntruppa.scentsy.us/Home) or Kim or Cami or Stephanie. If I'm a rep not only do I get that sweet discount (like when I worked the Christmas holiday at Target just for the discount on my Christmas shopping) but then I don't have to carry around the guilt of who to buy from each time.

I realize to the rest of you this is a completely pointless, even frivolous post but it's my blog and sometimes that's just how I roll.

Now that you've read all that, go over to http://scentsy.net/bring-back-my-bar.aspx and vote for SANDALWOOD AND CRANBERRIES.

Do you know about TAPS?

If any of you have ever been to a military (or paramilitary) funeral in which taps was played; this brings out a new meaning of it.

Here is something Every American should know. Until I read this, I didn't know, but I checked it out and it's true:

We in the United States have all heard the haunting song, 'Taps...' It's the song that gives us the lump in our throats and usually tears in our eyes

But, do you know the story behind the song? If not, I think you will be interested to find out about its humble beginnings. Reportedly, it all began in 1862 during the Civil War, when Union Army Captain Robert Elli was with his men near Harrison's Landing in Virginia. The Confederate Army was on the other side of the narrow strip of land.

During the night, Captain Elli heard the moans of a soldier who lay severely wounded on the field. Not knowing if it was a Union or Confederate soldier, the Captain decided to risk his life and bring the stricken man back for medical attention. Crawling on his stomach through the gunfire, the Captain reached the stricken soldier and began pulling him toward his encampment.
When the Captain finally reached his own lines, he discovered it was actually a Confederate soldier, but the soldier was dead. The Captain lit a lantern and suddenly caught his breath and went numb with shock. In the dim light, he saw the face of the soldier. It was his own son. The boy had been studying music in the South when the war broke out.. Without telling his father, the boy enlisted in the Confederate Army. The following morning, heartbroken, the father asked permission of his superiors to give his son a full military burial, despite his enemy status. His request was only partially granted. The Captain had asked if he could have a group of Army band members play a funeral dirge for his son at the funeral.

The request was turned down since the soldier was a Confederate. But, out of respect for the father, they did say they could give him only one musician.

The Captain chose a bugler. He asked the bugler to play a series of musical notes he had found on a piece of paper in the pocket of the dead youth's uniform.
This wish was granted. The haunting melody, we now know as 'Taps' used at military funerals was born.

The words are:
Day is done.
Gone the sun.
From the lakes
From the hills.
From the sky.
All is well.
Safely rest.
God is nigh.

Fading light.
Dims the sight.
And a star.
Gems the sky.
Gleaming bright.
From afar.
Drawing nigh
Falls the night.

Thanks and praise.
For our days.
Neath the sun
Neath the stars.
Neath the sky
As we go.
This we know.
God is nigh...

Random crap

Hippo Balls

G came into the office and asked me to "get dem please."

"Get what, buddy?"

"Get the hippo balls!"

"You want some hippo balls?"

"Yes!"

Okay, he means the white balls for the Hungry, Hungry Hippo game. I keep them up and away because he sucks at keeping them altogether. I go to get them for him and I tell him, "These stay right here with the game, do you understand? If you lose any more of them I'm throwing the game away."

"Okay, momma."

"G, look at me. No, right here, look at my nose. Stop looking at the TV, look right here. Good. Now what did Momma say?"

"Siwen will eat dem."

"Yes, Siren might eat them but that's not what I said. I said the hippo balls stay right here, do you understand?"

"She will get big sick."

"Yes, if Siren eats the hippo balls she'll probably get sick I suppose. But I said the hippo balls stay right here, now tell me what I said, repeat it back to mommy."

"Siwen will need some medicine."

"Yes, if Siren eats the hippo balls and gets sick she might need medicine, you're right. Could you please focus? Tell momma what I said about the hippo balls, please."

"Siwen's medicine make her feel better."

"Never mind, here's the damn hippo balls."

E had better watch his back...

Conversation just had between me and G:
G: I swick again, momma.
Me: Oh no, what kind of swick are you?
G: I swick.
Me: Well what hurts? What doesn't feel good?
G: He hit me.
Me: What? Daddy hit you? Yes, you got in trouble for doing something he told you not to do several times. Did he hit your butt, is that what hurts?
G: Yeah.
Me: Did he smack you upside the head?
G: Yeah.
Me: Did he punch you in the nose?
G: Yeah.
Me: Wow, daddy's like a ninja. You want me to go hit him back for you?
G: No, go get big gun.

I was shocked at first, then I laughed. I guess E had really better make sure he keeps his guns locked up now, right?

let them go?

But what if I don't want their part in my story to be over?

A boy & his dog

A Boy and His Dog

Edgar Guest

A boy and his dog make a glorious pair:

No better friendship is found anywhere,

For they talk and they walk and they run and they play,

And they have their deep secrets for many a day;

And that boy has a comrade who thinks and who feels,

Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

He may go where he will and his dog will be there,

May revel in mud and his dog will not care;

Faithful he'll stay for the slightest command

And bark with delight at the touch of his hand;

Oh, he owns a treasure which nobody steals,

Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

No other can lure him away from his side;

He's proof against riches and station and pride;

Fine dress does not charm him, and flattery's breath

Is lost on the dog, for he's faithful to death;

He sees the great soul which the body conceals--

Oh, it's great to be young with a dog at your heels!

E & I got to adopt Siren long before G was even a blip on the radar. Who knew that our fur kid and our human kid would be so meant for each other? Everyone should be so lucky to be owned by a boxer. She was such a pain in the tush when she was a pup but she's matured into a fantastic member of our family. She turned 7 in February but she looks and walks like she is much older (hip problems from too many kennel escapes). I don't know that I will ever not have a boxer in home, that's how much I love the farting, drooling breed. I had hoped that a Boston would be like a boxer in midget's clothing but, sadly, Crash just isn't as awesome as Siren. I have an aunt that has always crowed about boxers and I didn't really understand why until I have lived with one. I'm glad that I share my home with a man who feels the same way (though he'd never admit that he likes dogs) because I really do believe that a house is not a home without a dog in it.

Chitty Chattering

G's language has literally exploded. Like the old Batman cartoons kind of exploded - I can almost see those bubbles around the things that he says.
I'm talking complex sentences, expressing his emotions with words, telling us what he wants and/or needs from us for us to do.
Not that this doesn't present some challenges. I can only take so many screams of, "No, momma I no like it!" so many times before I start to go crazy and envision all the ways that duct tape can be used to silence a 3 year old.

Or can someone please explain to me how I'll go off on a long diatribe to E and say probably 10+ sentences with one curse word contained in said sentences and somehow THAT is the one word that G comes up with. Is there like glitter that comes out of my mouth on the tail of a bad word because he does this with every bad word. Since I've gone 30+ years of not watching what I say this is not an easy habit to break so I've enlisted my little curse word detector to help me out. Now when I say a bad word he's supposed to tell me, "No, momma that's a bad word. Bad girl." Instead it ends up with him repeating the bad word and then telling me, "Good boy, good boy." I guess I'll have to think of some other solution.
He asks to watch Beverly Hill Chihuahua (by name) and then he tells me things like "He's the best digger," when referring to one of the dogs.

He now asks for Homeward Bound. Before he would say he wanted the dog movie. It comes out a little rough but I know what he' is saying. :)

He will take me by the hand and say, "Follow me to my room please." Before he'd just try to muscle me there.

"Mom I pooped and wiped off the seat!" He has a habit of getting off the potty before I get to him to do it and leaves skid marks. So not only is he verbalizing what he's doing but he's cleaning up after himself. That's a nice change!

"Lay down me, please." That's what he says when I am putting him to bed and I sit by the door and read but he wants me to lay down next to him in his bed.

"I need a snowplow to pick it up." That's what he tells me when he makes a big mess with his toys or books and I tell him that he needs to pick them up. He's crazy.

"That silly boy riding on the highway, that dangerous!" when he see's a picture of himself riding on his little 4 wheeler or driving Lightning."

"Momma I swick. I need medicine, I swick." He'd also tell me, "I swick in bed like the bear in the book." Yep, sure enough in one of his books there's a bear that is sick in bed. This also brought about "I no feel good."

"Momma I hungry. I need food."

"Read me this book now?"

"I pway Wittle Einstein?" He can now successfully maneuver a computer mouse and play his preschool games without any help.

"I don't like that one," or, "Not that one." This is typically in reference to a TV show or a food we are trying to get him to eat.

"Hey! Give that back!"

"I be a good boy." "Really, G, 'cause it doesn't seem like you're being a good boy right now." "Yeah, I bad boy."

Thanks to his daddy now when he crashes on his bike or otherwise hurts himself he bounces up and says, "That gonna leave a mark."

"Look, I'm sharing!" He usually says that when when he's helping himself to something of mine or E's. If we dare to try to share what he's got he freaks out.

"Cock-a-doo!" That's cock-a-doodle-do to the rest of you.

Today he was eating some chili and chips with E. He scooped up some chili but a drop fell onto his sock. He sat down on his butt and picked up his foot and started to lick the chili off his foot. And then he started meowing and saying, "I be like a cat!"

"It's so cool!" or "That's so super cool!"

We've also got him saying, "Oh snap!" which thankfully replaces "Damnit!" Yes, my kid says damnit. Or shit. Oh snap replaces shit too.

And on that note I'll stop. This is just a sampling of the things coming out of G's mouth lately. I love hearing him talk!!!

I'm takin' a trip...a guilt trip that is...

When we took Taser back to the Humane Society in Spring 2010 I made a donation because I felt like such a giant douchecanoe for returning her. I won't get into all of that, it was the right decision. Anyway, I did expect to receive mail and solicitations from the Humane Society now that they had my information. What I didn't expect is all the solicitations I have gotten from other organizations around the area of the big town we live closest to. Just today, in fact, I got a "Happy Thanksgiving" card from the Salvation Army.

Ooh, that's sweet, I thought at first. Then I realized that Thanksgiving is nearly 2 months away. It's the beginning of October right now and Thanksgiving is at the end of November.

Regardless, I cracked it open. "Will you please share your blessings? Your Thanksgiving gift will provide food and comfort to your neighbors in need during this special time." Well, I am very, very blessed but not in the ways that they seem to think I am. And the blessings I do have, I'm not sharing with them. My Thanksgiving gift will provide...hello, presumptuous much? ...food and comfort to your neighbors in need. Sure, if I see the Salvation Army turkey truck pull up anywhere out here I will gladly donate but otherwise the "neighbors" they're talking about are no neighbors of mine.

I knew of someone out here that was in need of a pumpkin pie (you know, like they said, for comfort), I'd hook them up. I'd even buy them real Cool Whip to go with it, not the Walmart brand crap.

Heck, I'd like to know where this free turkey dinner is because I don't really enjoy cooking the big ta-do anyway. I'll get in line to ladle some blessings and comfort onto my own plate.

HUMANMETRICS Jung Typology Test™

Your Type is INTJ

Introverted	Intuitive	Thinking	Judging
Strength of the preferences %
56	62	1	67

Rational Portrait of the Mastermind (INTJ)

All Rationals are good at planning operations, but Masterminds are head and shoulders above all the rest in contingency planning. Complex operations involve many steps or stages, one following another in a necessary progression, and Masterminds are naturally able to grasp how each one leads to the next, and to prepare alternatives for difficulties that are likely to arise any step of the way. Trying to anticipate every contingency, Masterminds never set off on their current project without a Plan A firmly in mind, but they are always prepared to switch to Plan B or C or D if need be.

Masterminds are rare, comprising no more than one to two percent of the population, and they are rarely encountered outside their office, factory, school, or laboratory. Although they are highly capable leaders, Masterminds are not at all eager to take command, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead. Once they take charge, however, they are thoroughgoing pragmatists. Masterminds are certain that efficiency is indispensable in a well-run organization, and if they encounter inefficiency -- any waste of human and material resources -- they are quick to realign operations and reassign personnel. Masterminds do not feel bound by established rules and procedures, and traditional authority does not impress them, nor do slogans or catchwords. Only ideas that make sense to them are adopted; those that don't, aren't, no matter who thought of them. Remember, their aim is always maximum efficiency.

In their careers, Masterminds usually rise to positions of responsibility, for they work long and hard and are dedicated in their pursuit of goals, sparing neither their own time and effort nor that of their colleagues and employees. Problem-solving is highly stimulating to Masterminds, who love responding to tangled systems that require careful sorting out. Ordinarily, they verbalize the positive and avoid comments of a negative nature; they are more interested in moving an organization forward than dwelling on mistakes of the past.

Masterminds tend to be much more definite and self-confident than other Rationals, having usually developed a very strong will. Decisions come easily to them; in fact, they can hardly rest until they have things settled and decided. But before they decide anything, they must do the research. Masterminds are highly theoretical, but they insist on looking at all available data before they embrace an idea, and they are suspicious of any statement that is based on shoddy research, or that is not checked against reality.

It suggests that best job matches are a corporate lawyer, librarian, computer programmer, information systems specialist or natural science.

Women and Romance
Part 4: Rational Women
By Dr. Lovegood

Rational women tend to be late bloomers on the dating scene. They are sometimes unaware of or don't wish to follow cultural norms which dictate what is considered feminine. As they get older, men often appreciate their logic and general lack of emotional outbursts, along with the fact that Rational women tend to clearly state what they think and want.

Dealing with Stress from Work: Rationals

How do you deal with work-related stress? Each personality type has different stressors and copes in different ways. Better understanding of your own stressors and coping mechanisms can help you reduce the tension and anxiety work stress often creates.

The Mastermind (INTJ) is very focused as well, but more on an internal vision. They are good at solving problems and like to work on tough intellectual puzzles. They are often led into technical positions such as scientific researcher, design engineer, environmental planner. The developing field of genetics benefits from their intensity as does the field of medicine. In education they are most often found at the college and university level. In the professions, they may be a lawyer, a business analyst, or strategic planner. Some have a strong artistic/creative bent and may become an artist, inventor, or designer. Whatever they do, they do it with intensity. Says Kim, "I am constantly teaching myself something new in order to solve the problems that I encounter. My husband leaves me alone when he sees that I am caught in what he calls my "Thinking Time." I'm unwinding knots even in my sleep."

The drive towards constantly increasing their knowledge base and being highly competent is what gives Rationals a sense of personal satisfaction.

Famous people of your particular type

Isaac Newton, Niels Bohr, C. G. Jung, Michel de Montaigne, Michel Nostradamus, Ada Lovelace

50 Rules for Moms of Sons

Remember in an earlier post (50 Rules for Dads of Daughters) I'd mentioned that I was working on a list of rules for Moms of Sons? Well here it is. Some of it is a little flippant, some of it is heartfelt. Some of it came about through the help of some of my mommy friends and some of it is just common sense. You don't have to agree with it or like it, it is my list after all. The images/gifs came from Google Images (whatever you do, don't Google "Moms of Sons" because you will be surprised at what comes up) except of course for those pictures that are mine. My son is my world.

1. Learn how to build a killer train track or race track because this is one of the few times you will get to impress him with your engineering skills.

2. Let him jump on the bed, off the bed, or from the coffee table to the couch. And then cheer for how high he can fly. Heck, whip him up a new sew Superman cape. And don't forget to grab the video camera.

3. Get used to the sight of blood and grass stains and be able to act as though it is no big deal. But be there to swoop him up in your arms and kiss his owie to make it better. Leave the "shake it off" saying to his dad.
4. Take every opportunity you have to pinch his tiny tush. But once he gets older it will be awkward so be willing to give it up. Pinching a 15 year olds butt will probably be frowned upon.

5. Dirt is not a bad thing, even if he's covered in it from head to toe. Instead of worrying about getting out the vacuum go find out what he was playing in that was so much fun!

6. Teach him to be kind to animals and when you see him being sweet to one, encourage his nurturing. When he asks for a puppy, get him one and then watch as he learns (on his own, even!) about responsibility, unconditional love and friendship.

7. Learn to laugh at farts and burps. They are going to happen and he is going to find them hilarious so you might as well get in on the snickering. Yes, there is a time and a place so make sure you explain that to him, but otherwise, they are just funny.

8. Teach him how to cook. Let him lick the beaters, let him frost the cake. If he asks for a play kitchen, get him one! His future spouse will thank you.

9. Let him see you cry tears of both happiness and sadness so that he sees it is okay to cry. And if they are tears of sadness then let him comfort you in his sweet little boy way. My son prefers to pat me on the head and say, “Good boy, good boy.” It is okay for boys to show their feelings, even if his daddy tells him otherwise. Teach him that there is still strength in tears.
10. Love his daddy and let him see that you do. Hug his daddy, kiss his daddy, hold his daddy's hand. Showing your son your loving marriage is a very, very good thing and even though he will not realize it for a long time to come, you will teach him what he would like in his own marriage some day.

11. Grab a mitt and show him that girls can throw a baseball and catch one too! Also, learn how to throw a spiral (football, ladies) so that if Dad is busy, you can toss the old pigskin around with him. Be prepared to spend hours in the sun or rain watching some kind of sport practices and games. It is actually a good thing if you end up hoarse from cheering for him, his opponents and his teammates (yes, cheer even for opponents so that he learns sportsmanship and healthy competition).

12. Be silly. Parenting is hard but sometimes situations have no solution and you might as well stop what you are doing and get the wiggles out.

13. Pray for him. Every day. Pray for his health and his happiness. Pray that God gives you the guidance to raise a respectful, caring and happy man.

14. Try not to be afraid of bugs and snakes. When he brings you one, you can show your horror and tell him to take it back outside but then be proud that he is so fearless. And do the other gross stuff like pick up worms and bait his fish hook. Don't leave all that fun up to Dad!

15. Dance with him. Start with a slow dance when he is itty bitty and upset in the middle of the night and when he is older just be crazy and boogie on down while doing housework or cooking.
16. Speaking of housework, get him involved. Have him start young, let him help you with the laundry and put away his own clothes, clean his own bathroom (it will be your unwitting contribution to his education in aiming). Give him simple little jobs to do and then when he is older give him chores and reward him for his hard work (not necessarily with money). Laundry and dishes and vacuuming are not just for girls; housework and teamwork go together quite nicely.

17. Unless you are a trained hair dresser, do not give him haircuts at home on your own. Pay to have it done right because when you look back on pictures of him you do not want to cringe and think to yourself, "What was I thinking? Did I really let him out of the house like that? That poor kid!" The only exception to this rule is if he asks for a mohawk. It is pretty tough to screw up a Mohawk and if you do, just shave his head.

18. Take pictures. Not just at the important picture taking events but every day pictures of him just being a little boy, a boy and a young man. Because one day you are going to blink and your baby boy is a man.

19. Teach him to mend his own socks and to sew a button back on his shirt. Do not worry, when he is older he will still come to you and ask you to do it but if you are not around or available he will not have to pay someone to do it for him because really, he does know how to do it himself.

20. Know the names of trees and plants and creatures, not just the flowers. Dazzle him with your knowledge of a little bit of everything and he'll think you hung the moon.

21. Leave for the day. He will learn that he will be okay without you and you will learn that he will be okay without you. The reunion will make it worth it.

22. Embrace all things camouflage. It is inevitable. Start putting camo Band-Aids in your baby shower gifts for mom's expecting boys. They will get more use out of those than peepee teepees, trust me.

23. Take him Christmas shopping with you, even if it is inconvenient. Have him help you choose a gift for a child his own age and take him with you to give the gift. Charity starts at home. Also, volunteering is a gift and very rewarding.

24. Break out the glue and glitter and let him go crazy with the paints and markers. Encourage his creativity and put it on display no matter how much it clashes with your decor.

25. His daddy will teach him that “Man up,” means to be brave and strong. His momma will teach him that “Man up,” means owning up to his mistakes. Let him know that saying, “I’m sorry,” is always preferable to, “It wasn’t me,” or “I didn’t do it.” A good man will “man up,” learn and move on.

26. Take a picture when he puts on your makeup and make sure you show it to everyone. In 20 years his great aunt will see him, as a man, and she will remember that picture and smile.

27. Let your son and his daddy have their secrets. There are some things that Mom's just don't need to or want to know about. Prime example: morning wood and aim.

28. Buy him a doll if he wants a doll. It is not going to sissify him or cause him physical harm even if your husband says it will. It is just another toy in the menagerie.

29. Teach him that the correct term is breasts. Not boobs, boobies, jubblies, tits, titties, puppies, rack, knockers, funbags, hooters, tatas, jugs, bazoombas, boulders, tata’s, chesticles, melons, or mounds...they are called breasts.

30. Learn the difference between dinosaur noises and monster noises. There is a very strict distinction and this is an audition, if you get it wrong he might replace you as his play buddy. Oh and car noises, big machine noises and truck noises - do not forget those!

31. Every year at the end of summer/beginning of fall, make a big deal about going to school. Buy a new backpack and lunch box, new notebooks and clothes. Get him excited about learning and excited to start a new challenge. You are his greatest teacher but you cannot teach him everything so share him with others and let him spread those wings a bit.

32. Sing to him. It does not matter if you are a good singer or a terrible one, just the sound of your voice other than talking (or yelling) will be something special to him. Remember, Thoreau said, "The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best."

33. Boys like their penises. No matter how many times you tell him to stop playing with it you are not going to change his mind. It is attached to him and it is natural, do not make a big deal about it. Whatever you do, do not tell him that playing with it will make him go blind because it will not make him stop and when no vision afflictions occur you will lose some credibility.

34. Teach him the right kind of pride. Pride to be a part of the family and community he is in. Pride in the country he lives in. Pride in the good work he does, pride in himself.

35. Give him a heritage. Show him traditions, celebrate special times in special ways, talk to him about his relatives and where your families come from. Expose him to dances and music and art and other parts of his heritage that makes it unique.

36. There is a certain smell that I have come to call Little Boy Funk. It is dirt and sweat and feet and rocks and goodness knows what else. I tried to cover it, I tried to wash it off in the bath every night but it always reappears. Do not waste time on it, it is what it is and he will likely outgrow it eventually…and then you get to deal with deodorant and over applied cologne.

37. When a mud puddle appears, be prepared to jump in it. Do not fret about what shoes you are wearing or how wet you are going to get, because when you are a boy there is nothing in the world more enticing than tromping through a good mud puddle.

38. Try not to cry the first time your boy tells you, “Momma you my best fwiend.” It is probably true and if you do this mothering thing right, it will always be true. There is nothing wrong with that kind of a momma’s boy.

39. Boys are perpetual motion. I have not figured out why that is, but it just is. Realize early on that he will not be able to sit still during weddings, church or most any public venue. Do not be surprised when the idea of duct tape crosses through your mind, just try to control that urge and do the best you can to occupy him. Other moms of boys will look at you and nod knowingly. Figure out how to use his physicality to your advantage. When you want him to pick up his toys, challenge him with, “Wanna race me?” Or, “Let’s see who can go the longest without talking.” You might as well get “Ready? Set? GO!” tattooed on yourself somewhere. That phrase works every time at my house.

40. When he physically hurts something (brute strength, curiosity, rage, etc.) take the opportunity to teach him that hands are for loving and healing, not hitting or anger. But you also must teach him how to defend someone that needs his help, preferably verbally but potentially physically. There’s a fine line, good luck with it!

41. Boys need to know how to type too. In this day and age it is a necessary skill regardless of gender. Do not raise a hunt and peck’er.

42. Budget a lot of money for clothes and shoes because boys grow FAST. Let him pick out his own clothes and shoes, within reason of course, because there is no way you are going to be able to keep up with what is cool and in style these days. If you dress him like a dweeb for holidays and family portraits, be prepared for him to be mad at you. Oh, except for when he is a little boy and he does not really care about his clothes - then you can dress him however you would like but be prepared for him to be mad at you later.

43. Do not be embarrassed when he points to a disabled person and makes a brutally honest comment or asks a brutally honest question. Take the opportunity to talk to him about how we are all different but we are all still people. Respond to his question about a wheelchair with something like, “How cool is that? He gets to have wheels instead of legs!” Or, “Wow, she can’t hear you but she knows how to talk with her hands!” Do not just hurry him away, feel free to have that chat with him right in front of the person he is talking about because you will make that person feel special and accepted. And who knows, someone else might hear that and tuck it away in his/her toolbox for when his/her child or nephew/niece asks such a question. It is a simple way to teach acceptance, compassion and understanding.

44. Every boy needs a fort so show him your building/construction skills. Take the tablecloth off the table and the cushions off of the couch and have some fun. To earn bonus points make sure the opening of the fort faces the TV so when you are done building you can make some popcorn and crawl in there with him and watch a movie. Those are memories that no one but you will have with him.

45. He is going to want to be like his daddy. Whether it is putting shaving cream and little toilet paper squares on his face, scratching himself, peeing outside, or selective hearing, it is inevitable. Make sure that his daddy is someone you want your son to be like and you will save yourself a lot of heartache.

46. Boys love to wrestle and fight. It must be something coded in their DNA. Feel free to dislike the punching (not that girls do not also “need” to learn the fine art of a right hook) and leave the majority of the wrestling to Daddy. Every once in a blue moon get down on the floor and wrestle with him too. You will be surprised at how excited he gets for that. Make sure to do it when you are still young otherwise you are probably going to hurt yourself.

47. Teach him how to say, “I love you,” in more than one language. Again, it is exposing him to culture but more importantly when he is older and he does not want to say, “I love you,” in front of his friends he can still tell you without embarrassing himself. Here, let me help you get started with a few: “I mog di narrisch gern” (Bavarian), “Ngo oi ney” (Cantonese), “Je t’aime” (French), “Ich liebe dich” (German), “S’agapo” (Greek), “Taim i’ ngra leat” (Irish), “Ti amo” (Irish), “Eg elskar deg” (Norweigan), “Te amo” (Spanish), “Ikh hob dikh lib” (Yiddish).

48. Be prepared for the horror that is Playdoh. If you are anything like me you will have to learn to resist the urge to cry when he mixes the colors together to form a big brown blob. Kids do not understand that once you mix the colors together you ca not undo it, they just know that it is lots of fun at the time. You can always buy (or make) more Playdoh but Playdoh blobs are one thing you cannot fix.

49. Look up these sorts of boy things, “How to fold a paper airplane,” “Best conditions for spitballs,” “Pranks to pull on your sister,” “The best mud pie recipe.” He does not have to know that most of what you know is courtesy of Google, he will probably think you have just known these gems all your life.

50. Let him go. When he is holding onto your hands and trying to walk, let go. He might fall down but pick him up and have him try again. When the little boy down the street comes knocking at your front door asking if he can come out to play, let him go. When he is learning to ride his bike and you are running behind him holding the seat, let him go. If he crashes, pick him up, dust him off and start again. When, a few years later, that friend from earlier invites him over for a sleepover, let him go. When he is earned his driver's license and asks you for the keys, let him go. When college rolls around, let him go. And when "that" day comes and he has found the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with, dance with him at his wedding and then let him go. He will never stop being your son, but he needs to be his own person. Independence is a skill and we all need it, even us moms.